I have made no bones about it, I have never gotten along with my in-laws. They think they are correct on everything, I disagree. They don't understand the way I parent, or my marriage, or even my faith.....And they certainly don't understand Autism....
So, when we left Church yesterday I asked for prayers to help us get through another visit with the in-laws. We don't have many of these for several reasons...for 1 Eddie and I fight after them, for 2 we are very busy....To be honest I just didn't feel like bringing in anymore drama to our lives.
But they were excited about the new place they just rented and I set some ground rules before we left, and we left the safety of South Bend, to venture into the depths of---------,I will leave that blank.
Well. when we arrived to their home, the house which was adorable was filled with the smell of Shake and bake chicken, scalloped potatoes, mac and cheese, and corn. They were inviting, and dare I say helpful? We actually enjoyed a"normal" family visit with them, and even laughed!!! It looked like something straight out of one of those Norman Rockwell paintings. We actually had a good time! The kids played with their dog, Tobey found plenty of things to get into, including their washing machine, no joke! And we may, go back sometime.......I am in hopes of trying to have a normal, family relationship with them, but I have to forgive them for some things in the past, and keep a very close eye on them in the present.
The thing that I came to realize is that even though I am hurt by their past actions, and do not approve of some things in their lifestyle, I can not just cut them out of the kids' lives, no matter how tempted I may be.....as long as the kids are in no danger, I need to occasionally let them see their grandparents and just be vigilant about how they are treated and what they are around....
I do have to say this, I have not been perfect in the relationship either, I think that I judged them from the beginning because of lifestyle choices, and I never really tried to know them as people. I am no good about sending them pictures, or even cards....I myself have never tried to make the effort, instead I just tried to get though the problem, not try and solve it, or even work on it.
So, with all that being said, I am glad that we went, and I am not dreading the holidays as much....it's a good thing.
Tomorrow night we start the study with Notre Dame about how we communicate as a family, Ed, Lena and I had to each fill out an hour long survey, which seemed like an eternity. Lena, I have decided after filling out this survey is actually a really good kid! It was eyeopening to see some of the things they had listed on there....if I had to deal with those things with my teens, I would lose my mind....So, thank you Lena for being thew amazing kid you are, We Love YOU!
So, that is all in Holsteinville today....we are off to work on decluttering again....will I ever be done with this?
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