September 11th....then and now...

I am sure that every American that was over the age of 14 remember where they were when the Tower's were hit. I am sure that they remember that sick feeling in their gut, and how the things they were seeing on TV for what seemed like months looked like a movie...that didn't seem to end.

We were living in Kokomo with 3 kids...Lena, Alison and a 6 month old Edwin. I turned on Dora to quiet Lena down for 20 minutes and because of our remote control issues of being gone...I had to get up and find the channel. Just as I seen the screen, Eddie called me and said what happened. Your heart sank....your mind raced. I distinctly remember looking at Edwin in his 6 month old beauty and wondering what things were going to be like for him.

I remember the September 11th when I stood at a College campus, carrying a baby that I knew would never survive outside of the womb. And my heart was selfishly on myself and in my own worries, and I didn't even pay attention to the prayer or the candle in my hand.

I remember the September 11th when John Ritter died, and my childhood crush was gone....he was adorable, people!

And then there is today. Today we drove to Fort Wayne for the Autism walk. On the way we turned off the radio and had a moment of silence. We let the kids ask a few questions...we didn't have all the answers, no one does. We watched the sun rise in the van, and were in awe of it. We blasted the radio and sang at the top of our lungs....We had several fights over "Emily is touching me"...and "Edwin said I am going to die". Alison added several songs to her growing song list. Lena rolled her eyes several times. Tobey enjoyed the windshield wipers, and Melody took off her shoes and socks several times. We talked about getting them a TV for the van, for the time being I enjoy our time together with no distractions...we'll wait.

The walk was fun and wet, after walking the 6 miles though I am tired. OK, I lied, it was short and excited me even more about Fall. The crowds were not too bad, and they had several resources there I learned about. By the way...I guess if you have a child with Autism, you should live in Fort Wayne...tons of resources there, that we aren't blessed to have here. We took a team photo, but don't expect it to be posted....let's just say that it is the epitome of Autistic artistry...we were tired, wet, stressed with kids running everywhere. By the way, if you ever want a team photo of families of special needs kids and their families...be prepared to find out your patience level. So, all in all we had a good day...

(Insert after school special theme music here) Today I realized that yes we do need to remember the lives that were lost, we should never forget those innocent people...fly your flag at half-staff, light a candle, say a prayer that their family finds some comfort today. But don't focus on it and bring yourself to that dark spot, don't spend the day watching the remembrance stories. Do you know what I think they want for us? They want us to blast our stereos, they want us to go for our dreams, they want us to enjoy our families and not take them for granted, enjoy their love and wake up feeling blessed.

Have a good night, my friends......