Beautiful Boy.....

I watched Mr. Hollands Opus a while back, I love that movie. For one the references to the best band EVER...the Beatles. For two, the child being born deaf to a man who obviously eats, sleeps and breathes music...is quite the story line. My favorite part is when he signs to his son "Beautiful Boy".

I have sang that song to Tobey off and on since he was born, but the other day I tried signing some of it to him. I simply looked him in the eyes and signed and said "Beautiful Boy", he didn't seem to really notice or even care to be honest. But I persevered and kept singing it to him. On Thursday I walked up to Tobey Jude and I said "Who are you, are you my Tobey Jude?". He looked right at me and signed "beautiful boy". He got it, I have hope that this may be the right road for him.

When things settle down, (soon I hope) we are going to learn sign language as a family. I think that Eddie, Lena, Alison, Tobey and I will learn first, and then the rest of them as time goes on. I have NOT given up hope of Tobey ever talking, but I am facing reality that he never may, but he is my beautiful boy...that is all that matters.

We are in hopes of getting the Suburban back soon, and frustrated with this whole process. We are being told by people of authority that we should not have ever been towed, but those are frustrating words to hear when we drive by the impound and see her sitting there.

Being honest here, but I am not handling all the stress as well as I would like...part of me just wants to shut down and not face all the demands of my life. But that would do me no good.....So, if I can just have the rest of today without any problems, I will be alright. I asked my Pastor if I am doing anything wrong, I know that everybody has problems. Some things that I have seen people face, I know in my heart I couldn't handle....But he assured me that I am making the right choices, even though I feel like I am hitting that stupid brick wall.

We find out about the house on Tuesday, the kids are so excited they keep asking us what we have to do next to get the house. Today we drove by it and prayed that this is the right home for us and for God to put everything into place for us to have an easy move. I know that it won't go perfect, nothing ever does....but I do admit to having that little fantasy of being like Samantha from Bewitched and just twitching my nose and everything be in it's proper place while I drink a Coke on the deck and eat chocolate....We all have our fantasies, don't judge me!

Well, I am off to make a pot roast and cookies to bribe the children with so Eddie and I can get some alone time, it could happen....Have a great day.