This is the husband here. Melissa and I have been tinkering with a book idea. It would be called "Say what?" it's a working title...work with me. Anyhow, when you have kids, there are about 1,000,000 things "they" don't tell you. Now, "they", who we shall identify as...well, I don't know who "they" are, but "they" have a butt kicking coming to "them", so "they" better watch out for "themselves" or "they" won't know what hit "them". Side note, I have NEVER used quotations that much in my life, whether they be written, typed, or using my fingers. And so we are clear, I was using my fingers this whole time...where was I? O yes, kids...
The things they don't tell you could easily fill an encyclopedia Britannica set. What I am about to share is a series of actual quotes my wife and I have found ourselves saying through the years. Understand that in some circumstances, these words were never intended to be used together.
The things they don't tell you could easily fill an encyclopedia Britannica set. What I am about to share is a series of actual quotes my wife and I have found ourselves saying through the years. Understand that in some circumstances, these words were never intended to be used together.
- Alison, stop licking the car;
- Alison, DON"T lick the car; (Yes the order was intentional...Alison licking a car had never crossed our minds as being in the realm of possibility)
- "Ed, Olivia pooped out a pumpkin seed" "Melissa, we haven't bought pumpkins yet"
- Oh my God, that's not a truffle!
- I can't print off my computer, there is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich stuffed inside
- "We're out of diapers? But, we bought the box!!!!
- It's a comcast triple play, Melissa (code for, three of them pooped in their diapers)
- We say the word poop a lot more than we ever thought we would
- Edwin, no shooting people at church
- Lena, that extremely large and angry looking man DID say your welcome, don't push him
- Oh look, honey, my parents bought ANOTHER popcorn machine for the kids
- If that damn monkey whistles again...
- No Emily, I will NOT discuss the United States role in the current global economic crisis, and your mom will spank you if you make fun of Obama...again ( I can dream)
- What do you mean you can't find a brush, we own like 20
- Honey I'm pregnant! me: I love you!
- Honey I'm pregnant! me; I LOVE you!
- Honey I'm pregnant! me: OK, I love you!
- Honey I'm pregnant! me: are you sure?
- Honey I'm pregnant! me: Are you reading that right?
- Honey I'm pregnant! me: Wait, weren't you JUST pregnant?
- Honey I'm pregnant! me: and?
- I'll take seven happy meals please? " How Many?!"
- The only option we have is to buy a church van, or a bus. (we actually considered buying a small bus)
There are many more, but there is one thing I NEVER get tired of saying: Kids, I love you. You just never know how much love you are capable of until you have kids. That's when you realize, there's always room for one more.
- No, Melissa, I won't get it reversed!!!!!!!
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