Sunday, September 19, 2010

Thinking Deeply


This is the husband here. Melissa and I have been tinkering with a book idea. It would be called "Say what?" it's a working title...work with me. Anyhow, when you have kids, there are about 1,000,000 things "they" don't tell you. Now, "they", who we shall identify as...well, I don't know who "they" are, but "they" have a butt kicking coming to "them", so "they" better watch out for "themselves" or "they" won't know what hit "them". Side note, I have NEVER used quotations that much in my life, whether they be written, typed, or using my fingers. And so we are clear, I was using my fingers this whole time...where was I? O yes, kids...
The things they don't tell you could easily fill an encyclopedia Britannica set. What I am about to share is a series of actual quotes my wife and I have found ourselves saying through the years. Understand that in some circumstances, these words were never intended to be used together.


  • Alison, stop licking the car;

  • Alison, DON"T lick the car; (Yes the order was intentional...Alison licking a car had never crossed our minds as being in the realm of possibility)

  • "Ed, Olivia pooped out a pumpkin seed" "Melissa, we haven't bought pumpkins yet"

  • Oh my God, that's not a truffle!

  • I can't print off my computer, there is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich stuffed inside

  • "We're out of diapers? But, we bought the box!!!!

  • It's a comcast triple play, Melissa (code for, three of them pooped in their diapers)

  • We say the word poop a lot more than we ever thought we would

  • Edwin, no shooting people at church

  • Lena, that extremely large and angry looking man DID say your welcome, don't push him

  • Oh look, honey, my parents bought ANOTHER popcorn machine for the kids

  • If that damn monkey whistles again...

  • No Emily, I will NOT discuss the United States role in the current global economic crisis, and your mom will spank you if you make fun of Obama...again ( I can dream)

  • What do you mean you can't find a brush, we own like 20

  • Honey I'm pregnant! me: I love you!

  • Honey I'm pregnant! me; I LOVE you!

  • Honey I'm pregnant! me: OK, I love you!

  • Honey I'm pregnant! me: are you sure?

  • Honey I'm pregnant! me: Are you reading that right?

  • Honey I'm pregnant! me: Wait, weren't you JUST pregnant?

  • Honey I'm pregnant! me: and?

  • I'll take seven happy meals please? " How Many?!"

  • The only option we have is to buy a church van, or a bus. (we actually considered buying a small bus)

There are many more, but there is one thing I NEVER get tired of saying: Kids, I love you. You just never know how much love you are capable of until you have kids. That's when you realize, there's always room for one more.



  • No, Melissa, I won't get it reversed!!!!!!!

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