Thinking Deeply

This is the husband here. Melissa and I have been tinkering with a book idea. It would be called "Say what?" it's a working title...work with me. Anyhow, when you have kids, there are about 1,000,000 things "they" don't tell you. Now, "they", who we shall identify as...well, I don't know who "they" are, but "they" have a butt kicking coming to "them", so "they" better watch out for "themselves" or "they" won't know what hit "them". Side note, I have NEVER used quotations that much in my life, whether they be written, typed, or using my fingers. And so we are clear, I was using my fingers this whole time...where was I? O yes, kids...
The things they don't tell you could easily fill an encyclopedia Britannica set. What I am about to share is a series of actual quotes my wife and I have found ourselves saying through the years. Understand that in some circumstances, these words were never intended to be used together.

• Alison, stop licking the car;


• Alison, DON"T lick the car; (Yes the order was intentional...Alison licking a car had never crossed our minds as being in the realm of possibility)


• "Ed, Olivia pooped out a pumpkin seed" "Melissa, we haven't bought pumpkins yet"


• Oh my God, that's not a truffle!


• I can't print off my computer, there is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich stuffed inside


• "We're out of diapers? But, we bought the box!!!!


• It's a comcast triple play, Melissa (code for, three of them pooped in their diapers)


• We say the word poop a lot more than we ever thought we would


• Edwin, no shooting people at church


• Lena, that extremely large and angry looking man DID say your welcome, don't push him


• Oh look, honey, my parents bought ANOTHER popcorn machine for the kids


• If that damn monkey whistles again...


• No Emily, I will NOT discuss the United States role in the current global economic crisis, and your mom will spank you if you make fun of Obama...again ( I can dream)


• What do you mean you can't find a brush, we own like 20


• Honey I'm pregnant! me: I love you!


• Honey I'm pregnant! me; I LOVE you!


• Honey I'm pregnant! me: OK, I love you!


• Honey I'm pregnant! me: are you sure?


• Honey I'm pregnant! me: Are you reading that right?


• Honey I'm pregnant! me: Wait, weren't you JUST pregnant?


• Honey I'm pregnant! me: and?


• I'll take seven happy meals please? " How Many?!"


• The only option we have is to buy a church van, or a bus. (we actually considered buying a small bus)

There are many more, but there is one thing I NEVER get tired of saying: Kids, I love you. You just never know how much love you are capable of until you have kids. That's when you realize, there's always room for one more.

• No, Melissa, I won't get it reversed!!!!!!!