The Other Day....

A few weeks ago while attending one of thousands special needs events, a friend came up to me who has recently found out she was expecting. We sat down while I was trying to control Tobey form having a meltdown in excessive humidity, and we talked. Out of the blue she said that she didn't want to have a child with special needs....I was speechless for a few minutes (this is rare my friends) and I explained that nobody really does, it just happens sometimes. No parent wants to watch their child suffer through tons of blood work, or rearrange your life for therapy, or see a pile of bills come in from Memorial Hospital every week. Right now I am trying to figure out how to pay for a sensory room for the boys, and I would much rather be putting up one of those cool wooden swing sets!

She then explained that she wouldn't mind a kid like Edwin, but a kid like Tobey would break her heart. Now, this one I was not sure how to take.....Tobey Jude is the light of my world....he is just about the coolest person I have ever met. I know he doesn't talk, and needs more care then your average 5 year old... but man he is awesome! I then tried to explain to her, that when you have a child there is such an extreme love from the beginning. That yes, your heart may break if they were not that perfect child you were expecting.....but it just doesn't matter because they are your child and you will take them anyway they are given to you. But it is hard to explain that bond to someone that has never experienced it.

I remember when I was a kid spending the days at my Grandma's garden shop and watching the neighbors across the street with their daughter in her 20's. She was a blind and deaf and lived with them full time. You never seen them without their daughter, and I remember thinking to myself...don't they want time to themselves, or do they ever get tired of that extra work? And then ironically, I would head into my Grandma's shop and help her run her garden shop and spend hours with her just talking. The ironic part is that Grandma developed Polio in her 40's and I had never seen her walk in my entire life. It was never a burden being with her, I just loved her....it was never work, just love.

When the Dr's told me that Tobey may never live on his own, the first thing I thought was I was becoming Grandma's neighbors, and what about Eddie and I finally having time just for us? Aren't you supposed to ship kids off somewhere when they turn 18? But, now I have come to the point that if Tobey Jude has to live with us forever...I am OK with that....in fact I think that it could actually be kinda cool. No empty nest syndrome, no lonely Christmas mornings....and I will have the honor of being around one of the neatest little guys I have ever known. I do however hope that he will eventually potty train...seriously!!!!

So, for any expecting Mom's out there, I will give you this piece of advice....pray for a healthy child, absolutely! But if it doesn't happen, it's OK...they are a blessing no matter what may be wrong with them, and your life will be fuller for having them in it....and then you can start a blog! haha

Have a good one my friends....

PS- Someday in the near future I will tell you all about my Grandma Sims. She was the strongest, most incredible person....and for all of those out there that have told me "Wow, you have had a life....and you should write a book" wait until you hear her story!