I Need Your Help....

http://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=347578&supId=298517836&msource=boundlessfun

This is going to get deep here, so if you are looking for the happy-go- lucky Melissa, I will do a second blog today....here it goes....

On September 11th, Eddie, the magnificent 7,and I are going to Fort Wayne to walk for Autism.

Obviously you know Autism is near and dear to my heart, having 2 sons on the spectrum is something that I struggle with every day of my life.

I know that I as a person tend to look at the bright side of things, and I am thankful for everything I have but being honest here there is a lot of things that have to do with Autism that frankly suck.

First off you "lose" your children to a world that they may never escape from, you have your life run not by you, but by therapy, countless Dr. appointments and IEP meetings....The financial part alone is devastating, Eddie and I will probably never own a home because of the medical bills for the boys. A day that you have planned on for months may suddenly have to be canceled because of seizures or meltdowns, or worse.

There is no cure, only treatments...one thing that works for Edwin will never work for Tobey. You are grasping at straws constantly trying and praying for that magic cure.

If you have never had anyone in your family with Autism, consider yourself lucky that you have never had to deal with a condition that will never go away, that has broken families and devastated parents....But if you have ever laughed or cried while reading this blog that you have been affected by Autism and I need your help. If you can donate, please go to the link above....I know things are tough out there right now, but I would appreciate it. If you can't donate I understand, but if you could pray for the families or join that facebook fan page for awareness, or not look down on that family who looks like they can't control their child....that will be awesome too. You don't know what path they are on....

If I never hear about another family that just found out that their child is on the spectrum I would be thrilled! Unfortunately that is not the case, it is becoming more and more prevalent all the time. It is tough to put in words how it feels to find out what it is like to find out that there is something wrong with your child or children but, here is my attempt...

Once they say that word to you...."your son has Autism..." you hear no more words. You immediately go to this place in your head that takes you to all those bad places. First you think of everything that your child will never do.....play football, date, talk, live on their own, college, kids, marriage, dances....You then see yourself as that family, your whole perspective on life changes. Your thoughts of what college that you wanted them to go to, turns into...will he ever talk to me? You have huge decisions to make, that affect your child's life that you just wish someone would jump in and tell you what to do....and no one does. You are alienated by not only friends who don't know what to tell you but also your family, whom you need to tell you that everything is OK...but they can't see past the diagnosis. You enter a circle that you never seen yourself enter.....other parent's who have special needs children. And even though, you fight it for a while....you know that for your sanity and your child's best chance in life that is where you need to be....you find a home there. And then you get up everyday and hope that it is a good day, and you thank God...sometimes on your knees if it is.