Her Dual Life...(warning, the following may shock you)

Hello again, it's the hubby. Well, I can take it NO longer!!! Every one who reads this blog has this image of my wife...great mother; activist for autism; loving wife...but, I can no longer let you, the general public, be kept in the dark. My wife has a secret...
It all began several months ago. She began to act suspiciously, almost giddy. She asked me if I could start growing my hair out...maybe I should start exercising. I thought, wow, she really cares for me. So much so, that she is looking out for my health and welfare.
But, then I started to notice things....little things, peculiar things. Friday nights, 10pm/9pm central, she would disappear. For over an hour I would wonder, then she would reappear...strange I thought.
Then she began styling my girls hair in braids. No big deal, except, my youngest has a pixie cut, so she made her wear a wig...strange...
Fast forward to the present...I was at work last night, minding my own business, when I thought about her...a weird, paranoid thought. I called the house...she answered. And abruptly hung up...in the background, a man's voice...
This morning, I confronted her about it...She has been seeing another man...CODY LUNDIN from DUAL SURVIVOR!!!
I blame myself, I was the one who turned her onto the show in the first place. I'll never forget those fateful words..."Melissa, you gotta see this...this guy is in his bare feet...ON A GLACIER!!!"
If only I had known about the damning impact of those words...Now it all makes sense...her calling me Cody...wanting to graze and eat off the land...the bare feet.
I cry myself to sleep, now, knowing that I started out as her husband. But now, I am the other man...Curse you Discovery channel! Curse you for your entertaining and provocative programming on Friday nights, along with various reruns throughout the week!
My only consolation...the lighter with which I can easily start a fire...and my shoes.