Friday the 13th, kikikikimamamama

My Mom was in some very dark stuff before she died, it started out with the innocence of Unicorns and ended up with us using Ouija boards and having seances on Friday nights. Towards the end of her life she wore mainly black and delved even deeper into Wicca and tarot and such. Being a young girl raised around this stuff it seemed perfectly normal to me to watch scary movies instead of PBS, when you have one TV in the house what are you going to do? I remember once when we had a sleepover I pulled out the tarot and 4, 10 year old girls stared at me in disbelief. I was in shock that they didn't know what they were. I was in more shock when they never came over for a sleepover again...haha!

My Mom, had a hard life....she was put in an orphanage at a young age and a brother that she loved deeply was never heard from again. She was adopted into a great family but always felt that she never fit in ( no fault of any one's). She obviously had some health problems (died at 34 of diabetes and several other things) and found her birth mother again only to find out that she wasn't what she thought she would be. I only found out a few years ago when I was diagnosed with depression that she was severely depressed for years. Which explains a lot! By the way, I am trying to be super careful how I am wording this...even though my family doesn't read my blog....they have NEVER talked about all of this. Don't want to rock the boat here!

So, I want the kids to know about their Grandma (who Lena was named after) but there are things that I don't want them exposed too. On good days my Mom was this funny, outgoing, creative, animal loving woman who could dance....on bad days, well they were just bad and hard to get through.

So every year on Halloween or when Friday the 13th pops up, I think about her...and talk to the kids some about her, but not too much. And, then when it is over.....I block that part of my life out and go on with the present. But, this Friday the 13th, I am going to stay up and watch a scary movie with Lena and have tons of junk food, and tell her a little more about her Grandma Lena. I will finally attempt to answer questions that I am not sure I have the answers for. I will tell her about the fun times we had like dancing to Michael Jackson or cruising around the lake listening to Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam (there's a throwback!) and how we would sneak out of our house and going swimming at the boat landing at midnight...Lena is so excited to finally hear about the mystery of this woman that she was named after that she can hardly wait!

So, again that was probably to heavy....Sorry!

Eddie called me last night and told me that he has to work the next 16 days straight....so back to being a single Mom again! I really shouldn't say that though because when he is awake he really tries to spend quality time with the kids, and they love that! Eddie I have to admit is the fun parent...the one who blasts the stereo and has tickling fights and chases Tobey all over in hopes of wearing the boy down (never worked). When I told the kids today that Daddy has to work a bunch, I am sure that they seen visions of chore lists dance through their little heads!!!

Well, that is all today my friends! Have a great day!