Thursday, January 6, 2011

The teenage years....

I honestly swear that the teenager is going to put me in an early grave. The teenager otherwise known as Lena is officially driving me insane! I have all sorts of people telling me that this is normal and just a phase....I am leery of this, I mean holy cow there are times that I would like to just ship her off somewhere and send her care packages. Is that why parents are so happy when kids go to College? Maybe that was the original thought behind College. You know a place to ship your teenagers off before you kill them.

Now, I am first to admit that I am not a perfect Mother, I have all the patience in the world for Tobey but when it comes to my kids that are perfectly capable of doing things for themselves, well...I expect them to do it. I am not one to take kindly to the thousand excuses of why they can't do things when I know that they very well can.

But yesterday, Lena did the unimaginable. She turned Eddie against me in an argument!!! Now I may not be the perfect Mom but one thing I do have is a great marriage, not perfect....just great. Nothing has ever put us on opposite ends, not a fire, Autism, miscarriages....nothing. And then a 13 year old had us fighting on two different sides and I didn't like it. Eddie and I are a really good team and we have to work together on things or else things go wrong. It is a big job to raise 7 kids and then you add in the needs of the boys and the job is huge, and impossible to do if we don't agree.

Now, going deep here....my Mom died when I was 12 and I had to grow up really quick. My Dad was on the road and if I wasn't with my Grandma ( who needed a lot of help because of Polio) then I was home helping take care of my little brother. I was cooking and cleaning from a very young age. That being said I am not complaining, because growing up in that way I have a good work ethic and at least I never went wild (no time). But, I never was a teenager really. There was no dating, going to the mall with friends, no after school activities, no cruising. And now I have this teenager who wants to do all these things and I am drawing a blank on how to go about this. It is hard to raise your kids differently than you were and I have nothing to base all of this on.

Raising kids now is so different than when I was younger. I remember when I was a kid my Mom would send me outside to play in the morning and then just be told to come home at dark. I would hang out around the neighborhood, have lunch at a friends and then come home for dinner. Now? I sit in a fenced in back yard watching the kids play and worry if they are getting enough to drink and slathering on sunblock and carefully avoiding the evil sun hours (1-3).

When I was a kid a car trip consisted of jumping in the car ( after your parents found you somewhere in the neighborhood) and you were happy to just leave your area, hoping that you may talk your Mom into a candy bar. Now? You make sure the kids look cute (usually matching Emily and Melody), pack a diaper bag (packing enough for a week), prepare a snack bag brimming with healthy snacks and Capri Suns (the roaring waters one, they don't stain), picking out 3 movies for your 20 minute trip so they have a variety. And then when you do get to the car, you put them into car seats (we have 5) and try to start a movie before they scream their heads off from boredom, but the remote is the same size as your debit card and hiding underneath a thousand Capri Suns. It is just mind numbing.....having kids is not for the light hearted or for people who enjoy sleeping.

Well that is all the rants for the day.....I am now off to clean the kids rooms. Wait, shouldn't they be doing that,or is that part of the new way of parenting?

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