March 30th....

So tomorrow is March 30th and it is a day that is bittersweet for me. On March 30th, 1989 I was staying with my Grandma Sims because yet again Mom was in the hospital. I remember them telling us that she was fine and not to even put a lot of concern in finding my Dad who was a truck driver on the road to St. Louis. And then at 7:38 the phone rang and I heard my Grandma say thank you for everything that you have done, and I knew that my Mother at the young age of 34 was dead. She was a diabetic and did not take care of herself, I think that she thought she was invincible.... she was not. I didn't know her that well.... she liked to dance, she was very creative, loved animals, and the mother of 2. I was not that close to her and blamed myself, now that I have a daughter the same age that I was I realized that is how things go at that age, I no longer blame myself. In my family, when you die you are no longer talked about except on the anniversary of that persons death, which I now see as really odd. So every year on March 30th, we would go out to the cemetery and have this day of mourning, you were to have no fun or laugh, just mourn.

And then came March 30th, 2001 and of all the days that was when Edwin came into the world, my family was devastated. But I felt that this was a sign that the mourning needs to stop, a sign from God that life goes on. (By the way Melody was born on the anniversary of my Grandma Sims' death, I don't believe that was a coincidence) So much to my Dad's dismay I am going to just enjoy Edwin tomorrow and not just live in the past. It is not that I don't miss my Mom, I do she was my Mom. But Edwin is here now and and I am going to have fun and laugh and enjoy this gift that I was given of a new outlook on March 30th.

Ok so that was heavy, but I am glad that I got it out there.

So, it's Monday and the quietness is here. Emily is sleeping in and Melody is watching Max and Ruby. The weekend was great, watched 2 movies that were awesome. First off we watched The Blind Side. It was really good and it makes you look at people differently, with less judgement, something that I am going to conquer. You feel like you could defeat any obstacle after watching this... the human spirit is an amazing thing. So you just have to see it, there was some language that shocked me....especially considering that I picked it up at the Family Christian Bookstore, but it just wouldn't have been authentic without it. Then last night we watched Law Abiding Citizen, really twisted, graphic and full of gore. I really like those movies too, and Gerard Butler sweetened the deal, it is NOT a family movie, so put the kids to bed and make sure they are asleep before starting it.

We were supposed to go to Chuck E. Cheese, sometimes things aren't feasible when you have a large family, like getting a table at such a fine establishment as Chuck E. Cheese. The crowd was tremendous and the boys were freaking out, so we went to Mega Play. The kids had a good time but I am officially sick of pizza. I also realized that if a family member asks to watch Tobey for a few minutes and they are not used to Tobey....Don't let them have Tobey! They lost him and I nearly had a heart attack. It was only 5 minutes and at seemed like I was in hell. I do not blame the family member, I blame myself on that one. I also have the ideal story to remind Eddie of when he tells me that I am too over protective of Tobey Jude.

Tobey's injury is doing better, he is now trying to hit people with his bandaged hand so that is a good sign. Lena got a cell phone yesterday, little nervous about that one, but she is pretty mature for a 13 year old, dating is still not going to happen for a while no matter how much she asks. Alison is ready for Easter, I don't know if it is just my kids, but they are making lists for the Easter Bunny like he is Santa or something. Edwin the soon to be 9 year old has informed me that he wants nothing but Star Wars stuff for his birthday. I am going to have to let the resident nerd of the household (Eddie) shop for that one, I don't even know if Spock is in Star Wars or Star Trek. On a side note whenever Eddie (hubby) makes these really dorky jokes about Star Wars or Star Trek to one of his friends I just shake my head in disbelief that he is even married, like maybe he was supposed to be one of those guys who like has online girlfriends and pen protectors. I hope he isn't reading this..... Olivia is working on planning another birthday party for her doll, I think she is like me, that when she goes through a stressful time, she needs to plan something. So I will just let her go with it. Emily FINALLY "received"her blood in the mail, she is doing better, but still shows me the fading bruise daily. And Melody is now saying the cutest thing now... she puts her forehead to my forehead and looks up at me and says "Wub you". Ohh, in 10 years she will be getting a cell phone.

Well I hope everyone has a blessed and stress free day, I am hoping that for myself also! Have a good one!