It's just not talked about....

For a few days I have been wanting to write this post, I had to figure out a way so I get the message out without sounding pitiful or depressed...I hope that I can succeed.

When you have special needs children there is a sense of isolation, I am not sure if every special needs parent feels this...but I know that I do. First off if we are heading out somewhere as simple as Wal-Mart I need to watch the boys for the day to gauge their behavior. Making sure that Tobey seems stable enough to handle some stress and not have a meltdown or seizure. I need to make sure that Edwin is not going to threaten to arrest or blow anyone up. If you ever hear about me shopping by myself at 5 in the morning it is because they had a rough week and they can't handle the trip. I have tried to venture ahead with the plan of going to Wal-Mart when they are having bad days and 9 times out of 10 they are out of control and I am accused of being a bad parent, or needing to explain the boys medical history, or dealing with the girls because they don't understand why people are staring at our family. It is simply easier to just leave sometimes and call it a loss.

There are things that I know that we will never do that "normal" families take for granted. We will NEVER try the Blueberry Fest again or going to the circus is not in the future plans. Some real everyday things are an issue...Tobey hates Halloween, the masks really creep him out and he is so scared of them that he shakes. Edwin doesn't care for Target, the color red does not agree with him. Going anywhere with a crowd is not a fun event for them, and I realize that the other kids enjoy that stuff, so it is a hard line to walk(insert Johnny Cash music).

We really have a hard time with family events. We are the only ones in our family that have special needs kids and they just don't get it. We have actually been told to put Tobey in a dog shelter when we come to visit or we are the talk of the event. I don't mind being talked about how awesome my kids are or that Emily and Melody are dressed the same, but being referred as the poor parents who have to deal with Tobey and Edwin is a hard pill to swallow and hard on the other kids to listen to. I wish they could just love them and let them enjoy one of their few times out on the town.

I am making a goal this summer to find more friendly places for all the kids. One is Hannah and Friends, we have never been stared at their or made to feel that the boys are "less". I am also going to go to every event that I can that our Church has this summer. Again, that is a place where we are accepted for who we are. It is OK for Edwin to arrest half of the staff and for Tobey to spin everything he can find.

So, if you are reading this and don't have a child with special needs and you see a parent of a special needs child...just smile and say "Hi" and remember that they are tired, and stressed out and just are not in need of any judgement, they have a tough road ahead of them. So, now with that off of my chest....here is a kid update.

Woke up to the sound of a rooster crowing, a little odd because I live in downtown South Bend. It was Tobey Jude crowing. I have no idea where he got it from, but what a great way to wake up. He would crow and then laugh his head off...I just LOVE that little dude (couldn't tell could you)!!! We lost some language again with him, I guess that this is normal to regress but I don't really care for it.

Eddie after the cookout to all 7 kids on a walk to give me a break. Eddie being Eddie did not check the weather and the whole crew came home soaked and complaining that they were simply going to die. The oldest girls were the worst, Lena declared and I quote " You know Dad, people die like this", they were a block from the house! Emily and Melody had a good time with it though , and they all came home and gave me flowers that they had picked. Olivia kinda threw hers at me, she was very mad at her Dad for making her walk. I am starting to wonder if kids now days are becoming wusses!

Well, I hope that everyone had a safe holiday!!!! Enjoy your day, pray for us... we are going to attempt Wal-Mart today!