A Husband's Perspective

Well, it has happened! The wife gave me permission to do a blog post. The only rule she gave me...no fart jokes. That's too bad, really, because I know a LOT of fart jokes. So, I started to think, what else can i do to make good use of cyberspace? Here, now, is a husband's perspective...
First and foremost, having seven kids is a blast! Especially when your kids are as weird as mine are. In fact, just today, Emily, my 4 year old, put on "the monkey" ( a tether we use for Tobey in crowded public places...without it, the little dude would just RUN!!!!) Her sister, Melody, comes running up to me yelling "HELP! SISSY! TOBEY!'
Immediately fearing the worst, I ran with Mel to the scene to discover that Tobey had tied the leash end of the monkey harness to a door, effectively tying her to the door. I have found through past experiences that it only causes headaches to wonder,"why?".
On top of these three, we also have a teenager, a preteen, an autistic 3rd grader, and a diva. All three present challenges all their own.
The teenager has decided that her mother and I are idiots who are trying to ruin her life. The preteen is possibly insane. The Autistic 3rd grader saw a boy at the park use his hand as an imaginary gun and now insists on shooting all of us...constantly. And the Diva is a true middle child trying to find her own little slice of attention.
Through all of this, we have Melissa and I. Now, I am the first to admit that we have a different relationship than most. First, the positives. Melissa is truly my best friend, and the first person I have no doubt what so ever that she loves me. She is a great mom and she also tolerates me (that alone proves she has the patience of a saint.) I love her more and more every day. However, nothing is perfect...
She is addicted to coke...coca cola that is. It is how she self-medicates. Also, chocolate. Now, the weird thing is, the higher grade chocolates( dove, Swiss, Belgian, Easter bunny) the less she likes it. She is a Hershey freak through and through. And, possibly the worst thing about her, she LOVES reality TV. Deadliest Catch, So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol...She even will occasionally watch America's Got Talent. But, when you get a REAL reality show, like UFC or Star Wars, she turns her nose up! I mean, COME ON!!!
But, through it all, there is no one I would rather have a house fire, DCS, jail time, autism, poverty, or in-laws with than her. If I had to do it all over again, I would, but without the house fire, DCS, jail time, autism, or in-laws.
OK, maybe the jail time...