And then there is Tobey.....

This year for New Years Eve my nephew Trace is coming over to spend the night so his parents can go out. Trace is 2 months older than Tobey and he is just a really neat kid and I love having him here. But I always break down when he leaves because I see a blaring example of where Tobey should be. To be honest it is really tough....when I found out I was pregnant with Tobey we talked about raising them together especially with them both being boys and then we both picked names that started with T's, in our minds they were going to be best friends and hang out all the time. But it was obvious from the beginning that Tobey was different. Besides being small he had no eye contact with me, just this blank stare. Trace was talking. Tobey would stare into space. Trace played with toys, Tobey watched fans spin. Every time I was around Trace I could not deny that there was something wrong with Tobey....it became easier to just not spend time with Trace, and accept denial about Tobey. But then, reality crept in and I had to face facts, Tobey is different and that's that.

I am not sure if it was my alienation with Trace's mom or if they just didn't know what to say but our relationship has never been the same. To be perfectly honest I don't think any of our family relationships have been the same since Tobey, some have gotten better and some have backed off. They try to act like he is like the other kids, but there eyes drop and their tone changes. They don't talk to him, just about him and that is the worst part. I think that is why I talk about him so much on here, people need to know he exists....he can't tell everyone that he spelled his name at school with a machine, but they need to know how amazing this guy is....so there you have it.

On to a cheerier subject, we attempted to make a gingerbread house and train with the kids yesterday, notice I said attempted. After working on my house for a half hour I told Eddie that it looked like it had been hit by Hurricane Katrina and I simply left the table to watch the Young and the Restless. Eddie made the train by the time he was done with it the candy was gone, and we gave up for the day. I did make a cake with Emily yesterday and that turned out really good, so I tried to make a memory for at least 1 kid, the other 6? Well, I am getting there.

Today the cable guy is coming, again...The last guy was just odd. Hopefully this one is more normal and knows how to get the DVR going. I can't wait to try that out! We have never had a DVR before! We are coming up in the world now. Little does Eddie know, I will DVR every episode of Golden Girls and reality TV that I can!!!

So, I have no regrets about the tattoo but I think somehow I messed it up. There are like sections coming off on one side. I did everything they told me...so I guess I will be going in for the free touch up. I honestly think the itching is worse than getting the tattoo...driving me freaking nuts!

So, I am off to get the kids ready for the day! Later!