Things have been a little rough lately....

I am not sure if it is the stress of 7 kids, or the job or just simply life....but I am not doing well with all the juggling.

I feel pulled in a thousand directions and I seem to be failing at all of them lately, or at least I feel that way sometimes.

I LOVE my job, I feel like this is supposed to be what I am called to do. I have a natural way with special needs...Even before I was blessed to have Edwin and Tobey in my life, i have always been drawn to special needs. My Grandmother was one of my most favorite people in the world. I worked at a nursing home all through High school and I started a special needs gym class in my sophomore year of High school. I feel like I am good at my job, when I come back from vacation I will be starting training on a huge promotion and I am so excited about that.

But, there are things I struggle with. For one, I treat my people that I take care of the same way I want someone to treat my sons. I do things with them like teach them how to make cookies, and pray with them and tuck them in at night. One of my favorite things is playing hide and seek with one of the guys or throwing snowballs with him. But, it comes with a price. For one, sometimes the family don't want their family member to get attached to the staff and can actually take it as threat. Which to mean just seems insane, I want that for my sons...I want them to be loved by the people who spend their lives with them, in fact I am pretty sure that I will demand it. When you spend 8- 16 hours a day with people in their home, in my mind you better know them inside and out, and you better love them so you can help and encourage them to live the best life that they can possibly have.

I am new at this, and I need to almost tone back my personality with some of them. One keeps calling me weird, and if you knew her medical background...you would see the irony my friends.

Ok, so on to other things beside the job....

Lena's new man is tying up our phone lines for 2 hours a night. I am still trying to figure out the "normal" way to handle this new boy who is of such importance to my eldest....Do we welcome him into the family? Or do we try and come across as scary so he will never touch her? Or how about weird so he wants nothing to do with the family? Or be so super nice that he wants to be our best friend? I am not sure how to handle this one....

Alison has a new crush....he is older than Eddie, a little weird. So, we have been having several talks with her lately about how you can't date someone who may actually be older that your Grandma Holstein.

Edwin gave himself a tattoo tonight, it says "Call me a freak", I am not sure what to say about this one....the boy continues to amaze and yet scare me. I am starting to think there may not be enough therapy in the world....but, I am rarely bored with him.

I cut Olivia's hair tonight, it looks cute. I have decided that she is not allowed to grow it out until she is 18 and living on her own. It was getting to the point that I was dreading the mornings because of the ritual that is brushing Olivia's hair.

Tobey is still talking away, I love seeing him name everything. In the past, if the boy said "cookie" , he got a cookie. But, now he can say several snacks and I believe that he is getting too much sugar. So, we need to figure that one out.

Emily has been under the weather, she thinks because she is sick that she gets total control over the big living room TV, I now have the theme song from the movie "Coraline" running through my head.

Melody got a Dora hat today. The kid is a huge fan! Every time she talks to me on the phone, Dora is mentioned 2 minutes into the conversation. Lena used to watch that show when she was Melody's age....now she will be 14 in 4 days, it goes too quick.

This Sunday will be the final episode of one of my favorite shows of all time, Big Love. I am in a slight state of depression. It's a great show...what will I watch On Demand on Monday morning? Will I keep HBO? Is Bill going to jail? How long am I going to keep writing everything in question form? I am not sure my friends....I just hope that Cody Lundin can come on with some new episodes on Discovery so I can make it through the week.

So, that is all today...I am not going to give a promise of when I will blog again...the last time I did the kids manged to break the keyboard AND the mouse. I worry now they may take the computer as their next victim. So, until we "meet" again...have a good day!