A week from tomorrow I walked into a place that terrified me! There was this loud music, I met this guy with tattoos, I knew NO one and I was in utter fear.
Where was this place you may ask? It was my amazing Church! Living Stones! And because of this place I have not been the same. I am surrounded by people that love us for who we are, and they don't judge us for our past. The first sermon that I heard was about Betrayal, that moment when you are upset with the world...including God. I walked into that Church at the perfect time, because I felt that the whole world had betrayed Eddie and I. I remember when the service was over I was in shock, for one I have never heard a Pastor be so real and I remember feeling God come into my life and tell me that even though things were looking bad...I would overcome this with his help. I also remember that I had felt more at home there than I have ever felt anywhere...I still do.
When I walk into that Church now, I have friends and friends that are my family now. We have a true life now and we now know the meaning of what a family really is. Through that Church I have people who pray for my kids when we are at appointments, who drop off meals when life is knocking us down, people I can go to lunch with and be extremely goofy and go bead shopping ( I miss that, BTW), people who know what it is to walk in life of taking care of special needs children, people who give me advice on those parenting issues that I have no idea how to handle and I have a Pastor who lets me cry in his office when things are too much to handle. I am comfortable there...it is my home.
But next month, I am putting myself in that vulnerable position for a couple of weeks of walking into a new Church for the first time and I will have Mr. Tobey Jude in his Autistic awesomeness, complete with leash. And I am terrified of the stares and of being turned away. You see, I have a dream of doing Disability Ministries some day and in order for me to see how to do it I have to see how other Churches do it. And I will also get to have that experience of being the parent, scared to death and surrounded by strangers and trying to wrangle a kid being taken out of his element.
I want to find out how to make parents feel comfortable and reassured that their special little one will be in good hands. I want to study how the parishioners deal with seeing a kid like him and most importantly I want to see how they will love my Tobey Jude.
Eddie and I have gotten very comfortable in our routine of knowing what to expect where we go. I know not to take Tobey to Wal-Mart and Lord knows I know I will NEVER go to Silver Beach with the kids again. I know that Tobey does great in restaurants that have background noise and has a lot of things to look at. But this...I have no idea!
And then after 3 weeks of being the "new" person at three different Churches I will come back home again, and hopefully understand better what we need to do at my Church.
PS, Amy O! Don't go giving all the volunteers a vacation because the Holstein's aren't coming. Eddie will bring the rest of the crew...and without me there, Eddie may need his own trailbuddy. Just sayin'
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