Melissa's advice on how to do it all, and the Funeral....

That folks was sarcasm, there is no way to do it all even though I have had people ask me. I would love to say that I give a hundred percent to everything....not possible!

At the funeral Tuesday I had my kids dressed to the nines, Emily and Melody in matching dresses, Tobey Jude looking like a stud muffin in designer jeans, Olivia looking innocent in a lavender frock, and then Lena and Alison looking so grown up. Eddie was in a suit and I was sporting perfect makeup.

The stark reality is, I nearly lost my mind coordinating the whole thing. At the last minute I had to buy tights, some dress shoes, forgot to drop off Eddie's suit at the cleaners until the last minute, put my makeup on in the car and lectured the kids for the ride there on those questions that my kids seem to ask. You know what I am talking about...don't ask about that thing growing on someones face, or if you are REALLY related to someone because they look nothing like you.

Yesterday I managed to cook a really nice dinner for the family, I did 4 loads of laundry, read a book to the kids, talked about scripture with Edwin, did the mash dash dropping off kids at school, made snacks for the Boys and Girls club, did homework with Emily, talked to Lena about growing up like a lady, got Edwin to eat a potato, and managed to keep Tobey from having an epic meltdown. I also for the record, He-Manned a railroad tie...yeah, you read that right.

But....I forgot to go to Edwin's therapy, lost Melody's folder, washed a diaper (not disposable), burned a pork chop, overcooked the potatoes, I am not sure I fed the fish, drove over a railroad tie in the yard blocking off the sidewalk for bikers and pedestrians, forgot to turn in dental paperwork for 2 kids, spilled a Coke in my car (and on my coat), stepped on Tigers tail twice and I fell asleep instead of watching Modern Family.

No one, no matter who you think they are can do everything. If you try you will fail every time. Just laugh about it, pick your battles and try to do better the next day. My goal for today is to try and not burn anything or run over that railroad tie.

So, now the funeral. Eddie was asked to speak at the funeral because of a great blog that he wrote about his Grandpa. I am proud of my husband everyday, but that day proud can not describe how I felt seeing him up there. After Eddie spoke they asked if anyone wanted to share some memories, now I am going to try and put you into the scene so you can feel the horror right along with me.....

I am sitting next to Edwin trying to keep him entertained because the battery went dead on my phone and he was upset about not getting to play Angry Birds. That moment comes when they ask of anyone else wants to share memories. My heart jumped because I seem to be the Mother of 7 very outgoing children. We are spread around the room, within my sight I have Alison sitting in front of me, Emily and Edwin to the sides of me, Olivia is eating in another room, Tobey and Lena are walking around to calm him down and Eddie somewhere has Melody. And then it happens, Alison raised her hand! I am near panic,I can't move fast enough to stop her without a scene. I sit there in shock, telling Eddie's cousin next to me,"this can not end well". (For the record, Alison has a real tendency to say the wrong things, she is obsessed with Vampires and Cyborgs, and to be honest has no filter or tact.) She then takes a chair over to the pulpit (no idea why, she is not that short) and then through tears explains how you loved running up to Grandpa and hugging him. She is so upset and there is just no way I can get to her, Eddie's dad then went up to her as she was explaining that she will never get to hug him again. He tried to help her finish up and she motioned to him to wait. And then as she she explains again about the hugging, she says that someday she will see him again and hug him in Heaven. I am not sure there was a dry eye in the house. I then experienced pride and relief in the same moment.

I would also like to take a moment to thank everybody for the hugs, prayers and comments on not only the funeral, but on the the things that we are going through with Edwin. There are no words to express how blessed I am with our Church family, our blood family, our friends, and the 6 people that talked to me this week that told me they read the blog. It amazes me to this day how we used to live such a closed off life and how now we have such amazing people in our lives now.

I am now going to do housework so I can put on that facade on looking like I have it all put together.

Eddie's Grandpa and a tough decision....

Eddie's Grandpa passed away yesterday, Eddie is having a rough time with it. His Grandpa was Edwin Sr, Eddie's dad is Jr, hubby is the third...and my boy has a different middle name because I didn't want him to be a number. Eddie had the honor of his Grandpa asking him to pray over him last week, and he will cherish that forever.

So, I know I have told you about Edwin's mind and how seeing him grow up is an amazing experience...and it is. But, now I am going to share with you the part that is not neat and fun. With Edwin growing and maturing he is becoming very hard at times to take care of. We have talked to Dr.s and therapists trying to figure out what to do. Most of the time at home he is our awesome Edwin but the times he isn't are getting hard to deal with.

Within the last week, he has tried to take the steering wheel out of my hand while going down the road, I caught him trying to lock up his sister and we are all having to keep a very close eye on him with the little kids so he doesn't hurt them. I am having the hardest time dealing with the last thing...Tobey can't tell me if Edwin is hurting him and Melody and Emily love him so much that they want to be with him.

I have tried every trick I can think of like telling him that Jesus doesn't want him to act like this and I have even resorted to bribing. In a perfect world Edwin would have his own area to just get away from us...with 8 family members, not possible. I thought that if I got him into activities that would help, now he just seems to "save" his behavior for us.

As a Mom I keep thinking I can "fix" him. And it is so hard to admit that there are things I can't do, it is even harder to admit that I am scared of my son at times. I feel like I am failing him as a Mom, because shouldn't I be able to handle him? I have honestly gotten to the point where I have even wondered why God thought I could handle him.

So,we are going to have a pediatrician appointment to discuss either putting him in the Bowen Center for treatment, or heavily medicating him. It is so frustrating because most of the time he is awesome Edwin, and then maybe 15% of the time he is this kid I don't know. I am not thrilled with either solution...with the Bowen Center we will lose contact with our son for a week and I have to trust strangers with someone so precious to me, and with medicating I am terrified we are going to lose the awesome Edwin who has come so far.

We have noticed this coming for a while, but now even his teacher has noticed that he is in that imaginary world more and more all the time. And every time I think that we see him moving forward, and then he tries to cause harm.

I know, that as Mom's we are not equipped to deal with everything our kids throw at us (literally) but it so hard to admit that you don't have all the answers.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

This marks the 16th year of spending Valentine's day with the love of my life. We had to celebrate early this year because we both have to work today.

As you know we had a little party with the kids on Friday. But on Saturday, Eddie took me out on a date. I have been dying to go to this Irish Inn down the road for dinner, and we finally made it. It was very nice...piano music playing and so quiet. Very relaxing. We both got the steak which if you ever get to Ev and Jayne's I highly recommend. I honestly didn't feel like making a second trip to South Bend, so we cruised Plymouth looking for something fun. Come to find out the only things to do in Plymouth is shop at Wal-mart or Kmart, or you could change it up and go to Kroger's. We finally settled on going to the bowling alley (how romantic).

So guess what I found out at the bowling alley? I both suck at bowling and I don't particularly enjoy it. My final score was 35, and to be honest I am surprised I even did that well. Maybe I would have liked it more if I was coordinated enough to get a strike or spare....I am not. I haven't been bowling since High school..and I now plan on waiting another 17 years before I go again.

Edwin started guitar lessons last night and he did pretty good. His teacher has lizards and snakes and now of course the dude wants one. I will have to think on that one. His teacher did say that Edwin has an ear for music, and was somewhat shocked when he was told that Edwin likes the Beatles. We explained that it is a requirement in our home to love them. In addition to practicing everyday, he has to use a stress ball to work on his hand strength..thank you Autism for your low tone muscles (haha).

We started new chore charts yesterday for the kids and the are loving them! I have decided now that all of my children are odd balls. I think they like checking everything off the list. All the kids finished everything on their charts, the hubby did not. He is now grounded....

I had a big moment of pride of yesterday for my kiddos. I picked them up from the Boys and Girls Club and a little girl in a wheelchair didn't want them to go because she had such a great time playing with them. My kids treated her no differently than any other kid, love.... When the kids left, she told them to run for her, how neat is that? There are times as a parent that you don't know if you are doing anything right, and then you see that.

I think that is all I have for today, I will see you later!

Edwin's Amazing Mind and Valentine's Day!

I am simply in awe of what Edwin's mind can do. It seems like lately his mind seems to be developing into this super genius level. As you know his favorite band is Building 429, and he listens to them for about a half an hour a day. The other day in his journal I noticed that he was writing down all the lyrics for every song on the CD in order and word for word. He has also been able to recall dates and where he was...like where he was (in detail) the first time he heard or saw something. It has got to be one of the coolest things about Autism that I have ever seen. A little like Rainman? Yes, but super cool. There are times that I see him doing things, and I feel honored to even know a kid like him...let alone be his mother.

We are celebrating Valentines Day with the kids tomorrow morning. They don't have school so Eddie and I thought we would make them breakfast with heart shaped sausage and toast and muffins decorated with hearts. We got each of the kids treat bags and a stuffed animal. I think they will be surprised. When they are done eating we have to work on Valentines for school, and Lord help me, 6 of the kids have to make them this year! I know there will be a lot of tears involved but I am pretty sure the kids will have fun making cards for their friends. I bought a box for Tobey and Edwin to share because well.... Edwin is the only one in his class. He wants to give one to his best friend Sam and then to a couple of girls.

I know this is a lot on Edwin today but here is a conversation that I had with him yesterday.

Me- Hey buddy, how many Valentines are you going to need?
Edwin- (In monotone voice) Oh, I will need one for Sam and some for the girls.
Me- How many girls are we talking about here?
Edwin- There are just so many Mother.

How cute is that? I do know that Edwin is quite the ladies man at school and a lot of girls like to help him out and sit with him. I am scared for the teenage years!

I don't know what Eddie and I are doing for Valentines yet... We both have to work on Tuesday, so maybe we will have a movie night at home Saturday night. Unless you have any plans Eddie...just saying. You know, wife of almost 16 years, mother to your 7 kids who makes your meals and makes your life wonderful. No pressure.

I think that Eddie and I have become old. We have been trying to watch Courageous for 3 nights, and we can't seem to stay up to watch it. I am behind on Shameless, Dance Moms and Once Upon a Time. All because as soon as 9 pm is here, I just want to go to sleep!

Oh my goodness, I almost forgot to tell you. We took the kids to Chicago last Saturday and had a blast! It was so last minute I didn't even pack a bag. Every now and then you just have to get out of your element and break up the schedule. First we went to Navy Pier, which was not crowded at all being winter and all. So, it was perfect for the boys. We took the kids on a virtual ride there and then we took them in a maze/fun house that gave a tour of Chicago. They loved that! Tobey Jude like the spinning room so much I was about ready to throw up waiting on him. We then took the kids to downtown Chicago and ate at the Rainforest Cafe. The food was pretty good, and the kids could not stop looking at everything. Next time we go, I will plan it out a little better. But I am so glad that we did it! Just to have time with the kids and not dealing with the daily stress of life was so needed.

Eddie, by the way did pretty good driving in Chicago. We got very turned around at one point and had to pay the same tolls a few times. It got to a point that we had to ask the toll lady for help. I was so in hopes that we were going to see her when we finally left Chicago, because Eddie and I were going to act like we were diving around in circles paying tolls for 4 hours. But, she had left. That seriously would have been funny. I was going to act like I was crying and just wanting to go home. Eddie was going to try and look all stressed out. Maybe next time.

I think that is all for today, have a good day! I will have a better one when the Coke that I left in the car overnight defrosts.

Our cat Tiger...

A week after the house fire in 2008, we were offered a handicapped cat. Me being a sucker for a pet with a story was thrilled to welcome an 11 year old black and white cat named Tiger with one eye, arthritis and an attitude (or cattitude, remember that Eddie?). Now my husband on the other hand was not nearly as thrilled.

Tiger is the fattest, laziest cat I have ever seen. He weighs around 21 pounds and usually only bugs us if the food dish is empty and once a week he allows us to love him up. Just the other day, I thought he was going to fall over and come to find out that is how he lays down. He just kinda leans and then flops with a solid thud to the floor.

He has been to the vet and at this point there is no reason to change his diet or try to help him lose weight. The change could actually kill the big guy. So, we just let Tiger be his fat and happy self.

Sometimes we do make fun of him... Eddie does this voice of him demanding food. When he flops down you can kind of give him a little spin, because he can't really run away form you. But the ongoing joke in our him is he is going to end up needing one of those scooter things. We don't know if they make them for pets (some one probably does, somewhere). But we would imagine that when it backs up, instead of beeping it would do this really loud "Meow". And, in my mind it would have a few bumper stickers. One would say something about we need to stop with the spaying and neutering (like a pro-life theme), another asking for support for the ASPCA, and then Tiger would have a fish emblem. Not because Tiger is religious mind you, he likes fish.

Yesterday I bought one of those perpetual feeders for the cats. Not because Tiger is underfed, but to be honest I am not sure if our other cat is getting fed at all. Tiger is so appreciative of the new purchase that he jumped up on my lap (no small feat, people) and loved me up. He then promptly decided to camp out in the kitchen.

And for the record, my husband will probably not only kill me for this AND have to turn in his man card. But he really does love that cat, even though he acts like he hates him. I see you petting him Eddie, when you don't think I'm looking.