I tried to look up some advice on this topic, I had no luck. It is not easy to type out that you are sometimes embarrassed of your child.
Last week, we went to a community dinner and as the kids sat down to hear a holiday story from the Pastor, I debated on taking Tobey over there. He was being really pretty good, and so against Eddie's "no" nod, I took him to story time. I picked a chair in the back, and I immediately ran my hand up and down Tobey's back which helps him out. I tried to make it look like he was interested in the story, but his eyes just glazed over. Than he started making these weird sounds. I immediately started tapping his hand which works about 75% of the time. This time however we were in the other 25%. I accepted defeat, and bent down to whisper to the closest kid to me which was Emily to let her know that I was taking Tobey back to the table and I saw it. She was embarrassed of her brother and my heart broke. Here she was being good, patiently listening to the story, answering all the questions with your standard "Jesus is the reason for Christmas.". And all I could think of is how upset I was that she was embarrassed. Note that I said that I was upset, not Tobey...he could care less.
I know that being a sibling to a special needs kid has got to be frustrating, but I have never been in those shoes. But when we say prayer at dinner every night the other 6 are required to sit, eyes closed and head down while Tobey is generally running around the house with no pants on yelling "vacuum!". We have never gone to a movie theatre as a family. Sit down restaurants are hard....to be honest everything is hard. I only made it through about 10 minutes of the sermon this week before Tobey had had enough, I then sat in a room with him working on colors for the rest of the service. If we are invited to something, the first thing we think is "Can Tobey handle it?" and that determines if we will even attempt it. When we get to the day of the event, if Tobey is having a rough day we may have to call it off all together.
I went to a marriage counselor once who who told me that if the kids didn't resent Ed, Tobey and I yet that they will "mark his words". But, he never told me what to do about it....maybe because I got so frustrated I decided to start phasing him out :)
I knew I needed to talk with Eddie about what to do about Emily, and he said something profound (shock with Eddie, I know) he said that there are times that he is embarrassed of Tobey. At first I was a little pissed. How could you say that about my precious boy? And then I realized that deep down I get embarrassed too. Walking down the aisle of Church is embarrassing, having people stare is embarrassing, Tobey Jude discovering how much he LOVES his junk, no matter where we are, is well....disturbing and embarrassing.
So, I talked to Emily about the situation. And she feels like she has been cheated. Cheated because we don't do things like other families and cheated because Tobey is not the Big Brother that she wants. She wishes that she could talk with him, she wishes that we could go places besides therapy and appointments and I get it. So, I am not quite sure how to fix this one, they don't have Grandparents that are going to jump in and do that stuff with them, or watch Tobey so we can. And at the end of the day there we are so exhausted from the Tobey Jude that all we can do is put a band-aid on the problem. So I pulled out another band-aid and I took her and Melody out to a cupcake shop and Eddie and I had some one on one time with them. the band-aid worked but I don't know for how long....there is no fixing it, there is no cure.
I mean, long term, how do I prevent my other awesome kids from resenting the one who takes the majority of the their parents' time? I know some people will and have said "oh they understand" or "Don't worry, they will." But will they? really? I'm not looking for some general "with God's help" answer. I know that I have God in our corner. And, in many ways. He has already provided. But there are times when I feel that I am phoning it in with my kids because i am either dealing with a special needs situation at home, or am quite frankly too tired.
My husband made a comment on a post about poverty that said something to the effect of "poverty forces you to physically carry a heavy burden...all the time". So does special needs. There is NEVER a time i do not worry about my son. There is never a time when I am not trying to figure out how I can best adapt the situation for him. And, sometimes, I have to do it at the cost of the other six.
Now, i am not looking for a pity party. But I am curious to all of the other special needs/normy parents...do you have some REAL advice. I know we will get through because, in all honesty, we have to. But, it never hurts to have a few tricks up your sleeve.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Melissa's Guide To Facebook Etiquette....
After we moved we didn't have internet for a while. Eddie has a smartphone so we could get most of our interneting (is that a word?) done, I could stalk the crazies and we could look up phone numbers without the bother of knowing the alphabet and trying to use that stupid phone book.
Now that we are back online there are a few things that are driving me crazy, and so now I will give you my ideas on how not look like a jerk or idiot on Facebook.
Now that we are back online there are a few things that are driving me crazy, and so now I will give you my ideas on how not look like a jerk or idiot on Facebook.
- You do not need to post about your dinner every night on Facebook. I am glad that you are eating dinner in this day and age, but there has got to be something bigger and better in your life that telling your 600 Facebook friends that you are eating meatloaf. Now, there is a loophole to this...a freind of mine the other day made Sushi, and that is impressive! So unless it's Sushi or some other monumental dinner (Thanksgiving, date night or your kids are covered in spaghetti) I am good.
- Pertaining to numeral uno....I don't need to see a thousand recipes of things I don't have the energy to cook. If I am feeding my kids mac and cheese and I see a recipe for a lobster bisque, it makes me feel like crap.
- Keep the Drama down! I mean really? I know more about peoples relationships than I need to. There are some "friends" on Facebook that I hardly know in real life and because of their postings I know the most intimate details of their life. For one, that causes me to stalk you and it takes up my time, for two...somethings need to be kept in the home.
- Stop posting thousands of memes! My gosh people! Unless it is important to you or makes you LOL or ROTFL you don't need to post it. I think 2 a day is sufficient, 3 if it has Charlie Brown.
- So, this one may make you hate me but it has to said. Not everything is life or death...unless it is. As a parent to special needs children it can get really old. If your kid has a cold, I am sorry but there are kids that have Cancer and the parents would give anything to the days of just dealing with colds. There are people I know that have dealt with infertility for years and I can only imagine the pain that it causes them to see parents complain about the stupidest things, like kids crying or being....wait for it....KIDS! You have a kid! It is not easy to raise children..I know that, but no one ever said it would be.
- If you are really, I mean truly having the absolutely worst day ever than by all means post it and ask for prayers...if it is the worst day ever because you have a hangnail and you are stuck behind some slow drivers..... Well then let's get a grip and move on with life.
- Okay, now we are getting a little personal here. I may have to block your butt if I need to worry that my husband see's your boobs, butt or other body part that should be covered up. Some things are better left to the imagination. Let's leave that there.
- Be real. I am in shock at how some people are online and then nothing like that in real life. For example my Husband is sometimes inappropriate on Facebook and in real life he is the same way. You see what you get.... In that vein, I am no longer censoring my husbands stuff, because I have a job now :)
- If I am posting a picture of Tobey Jude and he is not looking a little drugged out...I expect at least 100 likes and upwards of ten comments on how cute he is. Okay this one is not a real issue but man, it is so hard to get a good pic of that boy. I blame it on his Ritalin and excessive studliness.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
My Relationship With God....
Eddie is never serious except when it comes to stewardship. Eddie takes the role of overseeing our faith very seriously.No matter how tired he is he will try his best to answerr the kids questions about Jesus, he leads the prayer at every family meal and he has just this crazy passion for God.
When my Dad died and I was (well, still) having all these emotions about him Eddie kept asking me how my relationship with God was going. I would just give him the generic answer of "It's fine" and even though he was not satisfied he would move on and not pressure me too much. Well, he kept pushing and I finally told him how I really felt....
How in the world was I supposed to keep developing my relationship with God when I couldn't seem to keep my head above water? I was having a hard time keeping relationships going with the people who were in front of my face...like Eddie and the 7 children that keep wanting dinner every single night? Too be honest I was failing at even being a good wife ( the brunt of my anger went to poor Eddie) and you want to know how I am doing with God? I didn't know what day of the week it was. I had lost my Dad, my job and moved in a 3 day period.
Now, don't get me wrong I am NOT angry with God. I personally don't understand why people blame God for everything going wrong. I have heard God being blamed for everything from lost keys to miscarriages. For my Dad's death I blame...well, my Dad. He was the one who made the decisions that caused his life to end. He thought of only himself and threw caution to the wind about how everything should be handled. I blame his immaturity and his thought that he was invincible....guess what? He was not invincible.
Now with that being said, when I get to heaven I have some questions for the big Guy. But the one that I will ask for first is " Why is Tobey Jude the way he is?". I have known people who did drugs during pregnancies and their kids are "normal". That is one fact that has never sat well with me. I have even talked to people about that particular question and I get those responses from people like "He knew you were going to be a strong woman and knew you can handle it" or "He only gives those children to the special parents". Heck, there are even poems about that. But with how well meaning those comments are, and I know they really don't know what to say...those responses are honestly a bunch of malarkey (old word, look it up). But notice that I didn't blame God, just would like an answer.
**DISCLAIMER**
Just want to make sure that blog world understands I am not angry that Tobey Jude is the way he is. I do feel blessed every day that I get to be that little vacuum -loving kids Mom.
So here dear husband is your complete answer....My journey to God is getting there. There is a reason it is called a journey. Because even though I wasn't moving ahead I had to sit and take break, like a rest stop. (Let's see how long I can continue this analogy). I didn't backtrack or even take a wrong turn (still going with analogy) but I needed to regroup or and fill up my tank (okay I am stretching it here). And I am back on the path and getting back to where I needed to be headed (better now). Thank God, that I have you and our Church as my GPS and they saw that I was stranded on the journey (that was pretty good, and deep).
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Not sure how to do this one.....
So, dear friends it has been a while. We have experienced sooo many changes, some good and some heartbreaking. Besides the kids switching schools, Eddie and I getting new jobs, moving to the country....the one that sticks in my mind is that my Dad died. That is still hard to type, he died on July 29th and it is not real. I have been through so much in my lifetime, and I don't get knocked down easy. But this one knocked me down, and it is still hard getting back up. I feel like that lady on the Medic Alert commercial that is laying on the floor claiming that she's fallen and she can't get up.
Ed and I kinda laugh at the commercial (I know that is so wrong of us) but the first thing we think is she doesn't look like she is even hurt really. She is not that old, she is on carpet, I don't see what tripped her and last but not least why in the world is the cameraman not helping the woman up?
In my case of not getting up there are moments it just seems impossible, like really wrong to get back up. Maybe it's because I am scared I am falling again....
I did not have the Father / Daughter relationship that my husband shares with my five girls. I had a relationship of fear and being totally controlled. In our family there was no traditions, or fun dance parties before bed. There was no laughter or family dinners. I think that is why that stuff is so important to me now. I want the kids childhood to be happier than mine.
With Dad dying there has been a lot of soul searching. But no matter how much I think about it, pray about it, talk about it...I can't get back up again.
I am not sure why...Is it because he is the last one? I now have no parents or grandparents. Is it because I miss something I didn't even have? A relationship that could have been so much better if he was not such a closed off person. Is it because, I was with him when he died after three days of waiting for him to pass and making decisions that no human should EVER have to make? Or maybe it's because I am having memories that I have blocked out for so long coming back at me when I am so vulnerable?
One thing I know for sure, is I am angry. I am angry at a dead man, and he doesn't care about that now. He has moved on and I am stuck here feeling all of these stupid emotions, that I just want to leave. I want to block them at and not think about them before I go to sleep, and wake up to the same thoughts. I want the days back when I immediately thought to check on Tobey Jude and smile when I think about the vacuum that he will inevitably have in bed with him. But no. I lay there and think about the horrible things my Dad did, the horrible things he said. The fact that he called off my wedding, or said terrible things about Tobey...the list goes on and on. Then I feel guilty, because he was my father and that is so wrong to feel that way about him and that is so wrong of me. And then I see flashbacks of him when he was in the hospital bed and seeing him scared for the first time in my life, or the moment when he realized he was blind and he was trying to see the Dr. helping him, or the moment that he was somewhat lucid before he passed and I feel like the most evil person on Earth for being angry.
So, that is where I am at right now...just stuck. The crazy thing about being stuck is the world keeps moving on regardless. The kids still want dinner ( needy little humans!) , holidays still happen, homework still needs to be turned in and those needy little people need help with it. And you learn to just go through the motions but not really connected. Does that even make sense? I am so ready to connect again, I am so ready to have that uncontrolled laughter that you end up crying and your nose is running and it's impossible to catch your breath so you can breathe? I so want that. Who knows, maybe writing this blog can help get rid of those bad feelings. I hope so.
See you soon....
Ed and I kinda laugh at the commercial (I know that is so wrong of us) but the first thing we think is she doesn't look like she is even hurt really. She is not that old, she is on carpet, I don't see what tripped her and last but not least why in the world is the cameraman not helping the woman up?
In my case of not getting up there are moments it just seems impossible, like really wrong to get back up. Maybe it's because I am scared I am falling again....
I did not have the Father / Daughter relationship that my husband shares with my five girls. I had a relationship of fear and being totally controlled. In our family there was no traditions, or fun dance parties before bed. There was no laughter or family dinners. I think that is why that stuff is so important to me now. I want the kids childhood to be happier than mine.
With Dad dying there has been a lot of soul searching. But no matter how much I think about it, pray about it, talk about it...I can't get back up again.
I am not sure why...Is it because he is the last one? I now have no parents or grandparents. Is it because I miss something I didn't even have? A relationship that could have been so much better if he was not such a closed off person. Is it because, I was with him when he died after three days of waiting for him to pass and making decisions that no human should EVER have to make? Or maybe it's because I am having memories that I have blocked out for so long coming back at me when I am so vulnerable?
One thing I know for sure, is I am angry. I am angry at a dead man, and he doesn't care about that now. He has moved on and I am stuck here feeling all of these stupid emotions, that I just want to leave. I want to block them at and not think about them before I go to sleep, and wake up to the same thoughts. I want the days back when I immediately thought to check on Tobey Jude and smile when I think about the vacuum that he will inevitably have in bed with him. But no. I lay there and think about the horrible things my Dad did, the horrible things he said. The fact that he called off my wedding, or said terrible things about Tobey...the list goes on and on. Then I feel guilty, because he was my father and that is so wrong to feel that way about him and that is so wrong of me. And then I see flashbacks of him when he was in the hospital bed and seeing him scared for the first time in my life, or the moment when he realized he was blind and he was trying to see the Dr. helping him, or the moment that he was somewhat lucid before he passed and I feel like the most evil person on Earth for being angry.
So, that is where I am at right now...just stuck. The crazy thing about being stuck is the world keeps moving on regardless. The kids still want dinner ( needy little humans!) , holidays still happen, homework still needs to be turned in and those needy little people need help with it. And you learn to just go through the motions but not really connected. Does that even make sense? I am so ready to connect again, I am so ready to have that uncontrolled laughter that you end up crying and your nose is running and it's impossible to catch your breath so you can breathe? I so want that. Who knows, maybe writing this blog can help get rid of those bad feelings. I hope so.
See you soon....
Sunday, July 7, 2013
So, I am at least trying here, people!
I start more blogs with "I am the worst blogger ever, lately!" and I am. I am working full time (sometimes more) and attempting to rear 7 kids and keep the hubby happy! Also School needs to start, my kids are going insane!
So let's see here, what has been happening? Mr. Tobey Jude had his dental surgery and it went great! He is now pain free and looks as handsome as ever. He answered his first question, which was about the best moment in my life. He has been handling crowds better, and doing very well with his new meds.
Melody turned 6. I don't know where the time goes? How do I not have any "little" kids anymore?She got a princess bike and is about the happiest kid ever. Emily is enjoying the new bike too....it is very handy having a sister the same size as you!
Emily has enjoyed the summer, and I think we have watched just about every episode of Golden Girls that has ever been made together. She has also enjoyed learning how to make new foods and has developed an obsession worth devilled eggs.
Olivia has really grown up over the summer, Alison has a best friend, Lena went to Church Camp and had a great time and Edwin has a thing for drink helmets. You are pretty much caught up kids wise....onto other things!
We went to the drive in the other night, I had these visions of how it would be. I don't know why I keep thinking Norman Rockwell with my life, when we are not like that in any way. Going on, we packed up healthy foods, brought blankets and even glow necklaces and footballs. We planned well for once. However my dreams of all the kids laying on the blankets getting along, munching on junk food was quickly taken from me when we had to wait for an eternity to get in, Tobey decided that shorts were not necessary and that it was his personal mission to play with every dome light in our SUV (there is 6 of those bad boys in the Expedition!) and the worst thing imaginable...he honked the horn! Proper Drive In etiquette is to not honk the horn while people are watching a movie and 6 of your siblings are laying in front of the vehicle. We had numerous fights and it seemed like we picked the 2 longest movies in history. But the kids had fun, so I guess it was worth it! I however think I got even more gray hair and colored my hair the next morning.
We stayed at home for the 4th this year, after the Silver Beach incident we have not gone anywhere for fireworks on the actual 4th...I know that sounds silly. But the kids will get to see them when we take them to Lakefest this month. We did enjoy a cookout and letting off our own. We did realize however that sparklers are the stupidest thing that you could give a kid. We got these huge ones from Crazy Joe's (why are the fireworks people always crazy?) and we gave them to the kids, I then proceeded to have a heart attack when they got near each other, the blanket, the steps. All I could see was an ER trip on the horizon. I remember going out and lighting fireworks when I was a kid, with no supervision. Now? All I could think was I have handed my kids fire and told them to have fun. Seems crazy....maybe that is why the fireworks guys are always crazy? Deep thoughts.
So, I guess that is all....I will try and get better at this again, it 's been fun!
So let's see here, what has been happening? Mr. Tobey Jude had his dental surgery and it went great! He is now pain free and looks as handsome as ever. He answered his first question, which was about the best moment in my life. He has been handling crowds better, and doing very well with his new meds.
Melody turned 6. I don't know where the time goes? How do I not have any "little" kids anymore?She got a princess bike and is about the happiest kid ever. Emily is enjoying the new bike too....it is very handy having a sister the same size as you!
Emily has enjoyed the summer, and I think we have watched just about every episode of Golden Girls that has ever been made together. She has also enjoyed learning how to make new foods and has developed an obsession worth devilled eggs.
Olivia has really grown up over the summer, Alison has a best friend, Lena went to Church Camp and had a great time and Edwin has a thing for drink helmets. You are pretty much caught up kids wise....onto other things!
We went to the drive in the other night, I had these visions of how it would be. I don't know why I keep thinking Norman Rockwell with my life, when we are not like that in any way. Going on, we packed up healthy foods, brought blankets and even glow necklaces and footballs. We planned well for once. However my dreams of all the kids laying on the blankets getting along, munching on junk food was quickly taken from me when we had to wait for an eternity to get in, Tobey decided that shorts were not necessary and that it was his personal mission to play with every dome light in our SUV (there is 6 of those bad boys in the Expedition!) and the worst thing imaginable...he honked the horn! Proper Drive In etiquette is to not honk the horn while people are watching a movie and 6 of your siblings are laying in front of the vehicle. We had numerous fights and it seemed like we picked the 2 longest movies in history. But the kids had fun, so I guess it was worth it! I however think I got even more gray hair and colored my hair the next morning.
We stayed at home for the 4th this year, after the Silver Beach incident we have not gone anywhere for fireworks on the actual 4th...I know that sounds silly. But the kids will get to see them when we take them to Lakefest this month. We did enjoy a cookout and letting off our own. We did realize however that sparklers are the stupidest thing that you could give a kid. We got these huge ones from Crazy Joe's (why are the fireworks people always crazy?) and we gave them to the kids, I then proceeded to have a heart attack when they got near each other, the blanket, the steps. All I could see was an ER trip on the horizon. I remember going out and lighting fireworks when I was a kid, with no supervision. Now? All I could think was I have handed my kids fire and told them to have fun. Seems crazy....maybe that is why the fireworks guys are always crazy? Deep thoughts.
So, I guess that is all....I will try and get better at this again, it 's been fun!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Miss Emily's Birthday and tons of other updates!
So Miss Emily is going to turn on 7 on Friday! I am in shock that this precious girl is going to be 7. I have said time and time again how I am not really sure how we were so blessed to get a kid like her. Her brain is amazing, like she is super, SUPER smart! Her personality is incredible and can be as goofy as they come, yet caring and an insane sense of humor. Her favorite thing to do at night is to lay on the love seat and watch Golden Girls with me and shake her head at the dumb things that Rose says. She has an incredible love for Jesus and her faith is strong. She has NEVER complained about missing things because of her brothers and doesn't bat an eye about having to help out bringing Tobey Jude to the table for dinner...even though that is her big brother. She loves to cook, and is fantastic at making deviled eggs and cookies. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside....which means she is stunning.
<--Emily at her Spring Concert
Quick story on the heart of Emily... We got some glass glasses (bad idea for our house) and Tobey Jude sneeked a few upstairs during Edwin's meltdown we were dealing with. Tobey threw them at the wall and proceeded to run through the glass. Emily immediately reacted with no thought of her self and ran through glass to pull him out. She brought him downstairs and told me that he was hurt. I then saw her feet and she was cut too. I placed them both on the couch and Emily looked at me and said "Take care of him first Mom." What kid does that? What kid puts her big brother first? She amazes me in so many ways.
<--Emily at the bowling alley
Tonight we are having her little birthday party. I wanted to do it Friday but we have appointments (of course) and she has the fun fair at her school. We are going to try and just take the three youngest girls because Tobey and Edwin last year was a problem!
<--Emily at her happiest...IT'S A MAJOR AWARD!
Lena has been good, she is very excited about going to camp in June. She has worked super hard at school this year and the break will be awesome for her. She even managed to maintain an a for the entire year in Chinese...which is amazing!
Alison got on honor roll....which if you don't think that miracles happen now, then you don't know Alison and school work. I was in shock! We have also started doing a new vitamin therapy for her and it has done wonders for her.
Edwin, well that kid is becoming like a real boy. Like pranking his sisters by putting earthworms in the tub and he also will tell us the school bus is here to get him, sending us into a rushed panic and the bus hasn't even come. I am not sure if I put this on here yet, but the boy is off of penicillin shots every 3 weeks and now takes a pill twice a day. They were able to take him off because his heart shows no sign of damage from Rheumatic Heart disease now.
Tobey Jude, well this boy has said three sentences "Is it raining?", "Tobey a fart", and "Go to sleep now Bob!". How cool is that? I love hearing that little voice! I have a feeling that I will be hearing it tell the eye Dr "No" today also :).
Emily, well she is 7....you got that.
Melody is ready for school to be over, she still doesn't understand why preschool was 3 days a week and Menominee is 5. We have also found out that if she has a spring program and has a band aid on her that she will not bother performing. Weirdo!
Now, I didn't forget about Olivia....but Eddie needs to get off the phone so he can put a picture on here. You may ask...why do I need a picture of Olivia on here? It's because for some unknown reason she decided to write all over her face at school. She is 10! The note that the teacher sent the nurse said that Olivia needed to see her for "obvious reasons" and the nurse made us call Eddie and I. It was hard not to laugh...what parent expects to get a call that their 10 year old (bears repeating) has marked her entire face. She also tried to tell us it was an accident. I will let you be the judge.....
So, Eddie and I were called into the principal's office (first time since we have been at Plymouth) she showed us the picture.
Here was my initial thoughts...
<--Emily at her Spring Concert
Quick story on the heart of Emily... We got some glass glasses (bad idea for our house) and Tobey Jude sneeked a few upstairs during Edwin's meltdown we were dealing with. Tobey threw them at the wall and proceeded to run through the glass. Emily immediately reacted with no thought of her self and ran through glass to pull him out. She brought him downstairs and told me that he was hurt. I then saw her feet and she was cut too. I placed them both on the couch and Emily looked at me and said "Take care of him first Mom." What kid does that? What kid puts her big brother first? She amazes me in so many ways.
<--Emily at the bowling alley
Tonight we are having her little birthday party. I wanted to do it Friday but we have appointments (of course) and she has the fun fair at her school. We are going to try and just take the three youngest girls because Tobey and Edwin last year was a problem!
<--Emily at her happiest...IT'S A MAJOR AWARD!
Lena has been good, she is very excited about going to camp in June. She has worked super hard at school this year and the break will be awesome for her. She even managed to maintain an a for the entire year in Chinese...which is amazing!
Alison got on honor roll....which if you don't think that miracles happen now, then you don't know Alison and school work. I was in shock! We have also started doing a new vitamin therapy for her and it has done wonders for her.
Edwin, well that kid is becoming like a real boy. Like pranking his sisters by putting earthworms in the tub and he also will tell us the school bus is here to get him, sending us into a rushed panic and the bus hasn't even come. I am not sure if I put this on here yet, but the boy is off of penicillin shots every 3 weeks and now takes a pill twice a day. They were able to take him off because his heart shows no sign of damage from Rheumatic Heart disease now.
Tobey Jude, well this boy has said three sentences "Is it raining?", "Tobey a fart", and "Go to sleep now Bob!". How cool is that? I love hearing that little voice! I have a feeling that I will be hearing it tell the eye Dr "No" today also :).
Emily, well she is 7....you got that.
Melody is ready for school to be over, she still doesn't understand why preschool was 3 days a week and Menominee is 5. We have also found out that if she has a spring program and has a band aid on her that she will not bother performing. Weirdo!
Now, I didn't forget about Olivia....but Eddie needs to get off the phone so he can put a picture on here. You may ask...why do I need a picture of Olivia on here? It's because for some unknown reason she decided to write all over her face at school. She is 10! The note that the teacher sent the nurse said that Olivia needed to see her for "obvious reasons" and the nurse made us call Eddie and I. It was hard not to laugh...what parent expects to get a call that their 10 year old (bears repeating) has marked her entire face. She also tried to tell us it was an accident. I will let you be the judge.....
So, Eddie and I were called into the principal's office (first time since we have been at Plymouth) she showed us the picture.
Here was my initial thoughts...
- I would not want to meet this kid in a dark alley.
- We are no longer going to keep our tattoo kit unlocked.
- Why just one color? Can't we at least change it up?
- At least she wasn't sniffing the markers....
- She used washable marker, right?
- It's not easy being green, but it easy becoming green.
- Giving the kids holy water with their dinner may become routine.
- I knew that she liked freckles, but the goatee threw me for a loop.
- Where are your glasses?
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Hello....
I know that I haven't posted very many blogs lately....I have been writing them, but they just sit in draft form. See, when I blog, I just throw it all out there.
But...when there is something else going on, it just doesn't feel right talking about something cute Emily said or what I made for dinner. When you have things happening in your life, they take over. I still have to make dinner. The other kids are still cute. Edwin still wants to kill us. But, none of that seems to matter.
We decided a while back to do genetic testing, and it was not an easy decision. It required talking about past miscarriages, family addictions, and life pre-2008. Not to mention the down time waiting to hear what the heck is wrong with your genes in the first place! It also required hours of paperwork and trying to get as much family history as we could all the while dealing with closed off family members and knowing really nothing about my Mom's history (she was adopted). But there are questions that we and our doctors needed answers to.
Why do I have seven kids, but I was pregnant 13 times?
Why do three of my kids have autism?
Why do I have a shoe box that is overflowing with the daily medications for my kids?
I wanted to do genetic testing to give my kids every bit of information for when they have families on their own. I don't want to see them suffer through misarriages or be suprised if their child doesn't talk. I wanted them to have information on their genetic history.
I had great intentions. But, I was very naive about the emotional aspect of it.
We made our first trip to Riley Genetics on March 15th with Edwin, Tobey and Melody in tow. The Dr. was amazing. After a lengthy physical exam, he seemed to think that he knew what to test for. He also said that he thought it was a gene mutation on one of our sides (I am totally blaming Eddie) that has caused us so many issues...including the 'tism.
And that hit me hard. I never in a million years thought we would know how and why the kids had Autism...I came to peace with that years ago and had accepted that nobody knows why they have Autism. Eddie and I hardly talked the whole way home (that has never happened before).
A few weeks later we got the phone call from Genetics and were told that Tobey has a duplication in his 17th chromosome. But, because of all of the information, they could not discuss it over the phone. So we made an appointment for two weeks out. It was as soon as we could get in, but for me, it may as well have been a year.
My mind wandered and I knew I had to find out what I was dealing with. Immediately I looked it up on Web MD(very bad idea) and all I could see was horrible mutations and memorials for kids that died. I went into panic mode.
I just imagined all of the things that could take my boy away from me. I literally lost nights of sleep over it.
Two weeks passed and we had the ACTUAL consult this past Thursday. And, as it turns out, it is not so bad. The specific mutation Tobey has is on his 17th chromosome on the Q22 segment. He has something in the area of 2.5 million gene replications here. Now, they have seen a lot of people (in this case, kids) with this. In some cases, they were absolutely normal, but in most cases, the people had autism, low muscle tone, ADHD, behavior issues, and in some cases, epilepsy. So, the only thing we are going to do differently is move forward with a long length EEG to test the Tobey Jude for seizures. Other than that, his care is no different, and they saw no reason that he wouldn't live a long healthy life of jumping and vacuuming.
Also, they are hooking us up with RCDC ( I don't remember the words in the acronym)...They will look at our case and put Tobey with the EXACT right specialists for him for everything. HOLLA! The only downside to our visit was finding out that there is NOT a genetic test for Ellers-Danlo(which they believe the kids have...man I have used a lot of parentheses). You just get diagnosed with it. But, it is not a big deal, the kids just can't ever fight in MMA (sorry Eddie).
We also had the priviledge (and I DO MEAN PRIVILEDGE...we were honored) of travelling with Chuck, Diane, and Sarah from Living Stones. If there are three better people in this world, I haven't met them yet. Thank you *cough cough DISNEY cough cough* Man, these allergies!
So
tomorrow, Tobey has an echo cardiagram as a precaution for his dental surgery in June. Other than that, Not much more news...except of course...WE ARE GETTING SENTENCES FROM HIM!!!
"Is it raining?"
"I want ice cream"
"Give me Tink (the cat)"
"Geopolitically speaking, North Korea is at a very precocious stage as it pertains to world security. I truly hope they do not posses the capabilities of nuclear warfare. Tickle?!"
OK, I may have embellished the last a little...
So, where am I going with all this? Easy. Riding the Tobey Jude roller coaster has many ups and downs, but I am sure glad I am riding!
I will update about the rest of the kids later. It's all good, mostly! But, until then, my friends, I will talk to you later!
But...when there is something else going on, it just doesn't feel right talking about something cute Emily said or what I made for dinner. When you have things happening in your life, they take over. I still have to make dinner. The other kids are still cute. Edwin still wants to kill us. But, none of that seems to matter.
We decided a while back to do genetic testing, and it was not an easy decision. It required talking about past miscarriages, family addictions, and life pre-2008. Not to mention the down time waiting to hear what the heck is wrong with your genes in the first place! It also required hours of paperwork and trying to get as much family history as we could all the while dealing with closed off family members and knowing really nothing about my Mom's history (she was adopted). But there are questions that we and our doctors needed answers to.
Why do three of my kids have autism?
Why do I have a shoe box that is overflowing with the daily medications for my kids?
I wanted to do genetic testing to give my kids every bit of information for when they have families on their own. I don't want to see them suffer through misarriages or be suprised if their child doesn't talk. I wanted them to have information on their genetic history.
I had great intentions. But, I was very naive about the emotional aspect of it.
We made our first trip to Riley Genetics on March 15th with Edwin, Tobey and Melody in tow. The Dr. was amazing. After a lengthy physical exam, he seemed to think that he knew what to test for. He also said that he thought it was a gene mutation on one of our sides (I am totally blaming Eddie) that has caused us so many issues...including the 'tism.
And that hit me hard. I never in a million years thought we would know how and why the kids had Autism...I came to peace with that years ago and had accepted that nobody knows why they have Autism. Eddie and I hardly talked the whole way home (that has never happened before).
A few weeks later we got the phone call from Genetics and were told that Tobey has a duplication in his 17th chromosome. But, because of all of the information, they could not discuss it over the phone. So we made an appointment for two weeks out. It was as soon as we could get in, but for me, it may as well have been a year.
My mind wandered and I knew I had to find out what I was dealing with. Immediately I looked it up on Web MD(very bad idea) and all I could see was horrible mutations and memorials for kids that died. I went into panic mode.
I just imagined all of the things that could take my boy away from me. I literally lost nights of sleep over it.
Two weeks passed and we had the ACTUAL consult this past Thursday. And, as it turns out, it is not so bad. The specific mutation Tobey has is on his 17th chromosome on the Q22 segment. He has something in the area of 2.5 million gene replications here. Now, they have seen a lot of people (in this case, kids) with this. In some cases, they were absolutely normal, but in most cases, the people had autism, low muscle tone, ADHD, behavior issues, and in some cases, epilepsy. So, the only thing we are going to do differently is move forward with a long length EEG to test the Tobey Jude for seizures. Other than that, his care is no different, and they saw no reason that he wouldn't live a long healthy life of jumping and vacuuming.
Also, they are hooking us up with RCDC ( I don't remember the words in the acronym)...They will look at our case and put Tobey with the EXACT right specialists for him for everything. HOLLA! The only downside to our visit was finding out that there is NOT a genetic test for Ellers-Danlo(which they believe the kids have...man I have used a lot of parentheses). You just get diagnosed with it. But, it is not a big deal, the kids just can't ever fight in MMA (sorry Eddie).
We also had the priviledge (and I DO MEAN PRIVILEDGE...we were honored) of travelling with Chuck, Diane, and Sarah from Living Stones. If there are three better people in this world, I haven't met them yet. Thank you *cough cough DISNEY cough cough* Man, these allergies!
So
tomorrow, Tobey has an echo cardiagram as a precaution for his dental surgery in June. Other than that, Not much more news...except of course...WE ARE GETTING SENTENCES FROM HIM!!!
"Is it raining?"
"I want ice cream"
"Give me Tink (the cat)"
"Geopolitically speaking, North Korea is at a very precocious stage as it pertains to world security. I truly hope they do not posses the capabilities of nuclear warfare. Tickle?!"
OK, I may have embellished the last a little...
So, where am I going with all this? Easy. Riding the Tobey Jude roller coaster has many ups and downs, but I am sure glad I am riding!
I will update about the rest of the kids later. It's all good, mostly! But, until then, my friends, I will talk to you later!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
April 2, 2013
Well, today is World Autism Awareness Day. So, I thought I would share with you my experiences with autism. I have an eight year old boy, Mr. Tobey Jude, and a twelve year old rock star son, Edwin. Not to mention the other kids that have, to quote our psychologist, a "sprinkling" of autism. That's right, we love autism so much we have begun to sprinkle it on our other kids!
So, when I was Tobey's age, I did not have that much experience with autism or special needs, with the exception of my Grandma who had Polio. In fact, neither did the world. It would be three more years until "Rainman" came out. In 1985, the prevalence of autism in children was 1 in 2500. In 2009, that number was 1 in 110. Today the number is closer to 1 in 88. these rates are "higher then the rates for cerebral palsy (2.8 per 1,000 children), hearing loss (1.1 per 1,000 children) and vision impairment (0.9 per 1,000 children) found in the same study."
When I was twelve, I lost my Mom from complications from diabetes. She was 34. It wasn't until my high school years that I would have any real special needs experiences in school.
Since then, my life and world outlook have been transformed from my kids and my experiences working with other special needs adults.
Whenever I go out, I can spot a special needs kid or adult. And, I also see the parents. Frustrated. Stressed. Sometimes embarrassed. I see them because I see them in myself. You see, Tobey is one handsome little dude. He has my heart wrapped around his flapping hands. And, we are now at a stage with him where we can no longer hide the fact that he is autistic. Up until this point, he was just a quiet little boy. But, when he starts to stim in public or becomes very loud and vocal because he is over stimulated, there is no hiding the fact he has autism. I had always wanted normal for my boys. I never wanted them to be treated differently or worse than other kids. So this kills me.
So, this is my attempt to light it up blue. My goal is not to make people aware of autism...I think people are already aware. It is not to make you feel sorry for us. Don't! We're happy! We have more fun than should legally be allowed. My goal is to make people aware of the fact that they cannot go anywhere without seeing a special needs person.
They may be grocery shopping with their caretaker. They may be out with their families. They may be the homeless person who can't keep a job and whose family has disowned him out of ignorance for his condition. Be aware, be merciful, and above all, be kind.
OK, I'm off the soapbox.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
It has to be said
So, today the Supreme Court of the U.S. is hearing arguments on the legality of gay marriage. On the surface, this is a very conflicting issue for Christians. The Bible states in several different places that God does not condone homosexuality, making it a sin. Case closed.
Not so fast. I have had several conversations with different people. Their reactions vary, but the ones who are against gay marriage often state the above argument.
Homosexuality is Sin. One person said that they had a gay friend, and that he felt bad for them because he knew they were going to hell because being gay is a sin.
But, here is the thing...I am not convinced that homosexuality is a sin, but let's put that aside. Let's assume, for a moment, that it is. And, because it is a sin, gay people are going to hell. And so am I.
No, I'm not gay. But I AM a sinner. I sinned probably a dozen times today alone. I am certain I told someone a white lie. I saw a man on TV with 3% body fat and liked what I saw. Someone drove past me in a new Land rover, and I wanted it.
I lied, I lusted, and I coveted. These three are mentioned explicitly in the ten commandments.
That's not to mention all of the laws in Leviticus I have broken. According to Leviticus 12, I didn't separate myself from family long enough after i gave birth! I eat cheeseburgers and bacon. And, I haven't sacrificed a single animal at all. (mind you, the laws and customs outlined in Leviticus are not generally followed in Christian customs)
To sum...I am a SINNER!!! One of the worst. I sin so much, I've lost count!
But, here is the thing...God covers me with His blanket of Grace. Because of Jesus, my sins are forgiven. And, because of this, I will be in Heaven with my Saviour.
As will Christian gay and lesbian couples (yes, they exist!) As a faith I think we concentrate on sin WAY too much. Not my church so much, but as Christians go worldwide.
And finally, this is a CIVIL rights issue, not a church one. If you lived through the civil rights era, can honestly tell me we were a country of the people, by the people, and for the people back then?
Please, if you are a Christian, let me just say lay off the gay community. They have enough on their plate dealing with non-christian Americans. We have only two commandments...Love God, Love your Neighbor.
Matthew 22:37-40
New International Version (NIV)
Thursday, January 31, 2013
How to take Tobey Jude to the dentist.....
Because of the endless appointments that is our life I have found that it is a lot easier on us to do these mega appointment weeks, or sometimes days. For example I have taken all seven for flu shots, eye Dr's , and etc. But there is one thing I have found that we can't do this with and it is the freaking Dentist!
So, there is a local place which is an offshoot of South Bend's Dental Center right here in the merry town of Plymouth. I made Alison an appointment and scoped the place out for the rest of the crew. Tiny office, but it is able to handle almost everything that the bigger office could so I inquired about the Tobey Jude. And it was a no.... I asked about South Bend, they were not sure if they could handle him.
So, then I asked our Pediatrician, and they sent me to Small Smiles in Mishawaka. They assured me on the phone that they were up for the task, and I was leery...but decided to try. So here is how it went down...
We got there and there was a ton of people in pajama pants, huge pet peeve of mine....going on. I filled out about 15 pieces of paperwork with the extra stuff explaining Tobey's medical background. They called us back and I was put in this tiny room with Tobey and we went through all of his meds, they are going through all of his medical history and asked me for tips on how to take care of him. I am now feeling confident, and we head back to the room. Within a few minuted the hygienist comes in and sees my sweet and for once mellow child...goes through his history, again and I thought that this was going to happen! The boy was going to get his teeth cleaned and I can mark another kids dental care done for 6 more months. And then, well they saw the power of Tobey Jude! And it got real! I once saw the Incredible Hawk tie a rifle into a bow tie, if Tobey knew the proper etiquette for tying his shoes he would have done so with the paperwork ladies arms...It took me, the hygienist, a dentist and the paperwork woman holding him down to brush his teeth!
I then got this look, this look that people give me when they don't know what to tell me about Tobey...she held my hand and told me not to give up. I knew then that we were looking at another thousand appointments. She then told me that we would have to put him under to even get x rays and that he is looking at some serious dental work. I asked her where I need to go for that and she said a surgery center in Elkhart...if they would take him. I then gave her the medical history and she said they would not even try. Next step, the hospital in Elkhart....and they said no.
So, finally today I got a letter from the dentist, and they are sending Tobey Jude to an entirely new practice in South Bend. I called them, and Tobey will get in for his initial appointment on April 8th. I hope they are staffed for it.....
So the next time you hear a special needs child's parent say that they are getting ready to take their kid to the dentist, give them a hug, a few Hail Mary's and a strong drink. Don't even get me started on what it takes to get a haircut done....
So, there is a local place which is an offshoot of South Bend's Dental Center right here in the merry town of Plymouth. I made Alison an appointment and scoped the place out for the rest of the crew. Tiny office, but it is able to handle almost everything that the bigger office could so I inquired about the Tobey Jude. And it was a no.... I asked about South Bend, they were not sure if they could handle him.
So, then I asked our Pediatrician, and they sent me to Small Smiles in Mishawaka. They assured me on the phone that they were up for the task, and I was leery...but decided to try. So here is how it went down...
We got there and there was a ton of people in pajama pants, huge pet peeve of mine....going on. I filled out about 15 pieces of paperwork with the extra stuff explaining Tobey's medical background. They called us back and I was put in this tiny room with Tobey and we went through all of his meds, they are going through all of his medical history and asked me for tips on how to take care of him. I am now feeling confident, and we head back to the room. Within a few minuted the hygienist comes in and sees my sweet and for once mellow child...goes through his history, again and I thought that this was going to happen! The boy was going to get his teeth cleaned and I can mark another kids dental care done for 6 more months. And then, well they saw the power of Tobey Jude! And it got real! I once saw the Incredible Hawk tie a rifle into a bow tie, if Tobey knew the proper etiquette for tying his shoes he would have done so with the paperwork ladies arms...It took me, the hygienist, a dentist and the paperwork woman holding him down to brush his teeth!
I then got this look, this look that people give me when they don't know what to tell me about Tobey...she held my hand and told me not to give up. I knew then that we were looking at another thousand appointments. She then told me that we would have to put him under to even get x rays and that he is looking at some serious dental work. I asked her where I need to go for that and she said a surgery center in Elkhart...if they would take him. I then gave her the medical history and she said they would not even try. Next step, the hospital in Elkhart....and they said no.
So, finally today I got a letter from the dentist, and they are sending Tobey Jude to an entirely new practice in South Bend. I called them, and Tobey will get in for his initial appointment on April 8th. I hope they are staffed for it.....
So the next time you hear a special needs child's parent say that they are getting ready to take their kid to the dentist, give them a hug, a few Hail Mary's and a strong drink. Don't even get me started on what it takes to get a haircut done....
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Happy Birthday Tobey Jude!!!!!
My precious, beautiful boy is 8 years old today. How did that even happen? Because it sometimes seems like yesterday that I remember seeing his face for the first time, I was being wheeled out of surgery and a nurse said "There is your boy."And there was this little guy with tons on black hair and huge eyes, and I fell in love with him at first sight.
Having a kid like Tobey Jude, birthdays are different. First off the emotional.."Why me?" starts creeping in. You start thinking about what he should be doing right now. At 8, Tobey Jude should be obsessed with Lego's and battling me on doing homework. And then you realize that he is obsessed with vacuums and he will never battle me on homework...he never has any. I wish as a Mom I could stop doing those comparisons, but I can't.
But, Tobey did do some great things for the celebration of him. He actually blew out the candles on his cake, and when people told him Happy Birthday he clapped a few times! He was quiet today, I think because he was so outgoing yesterday he needed to chill a little.
Sometimes, when you have a kid like Tobey Jude you just want people to know him and love him. And today we had that. It just happened to be on his Birthday (I don't really believe in coincidence, this was a God thing) some leaders and members of our Church along with some dear friends laid hands and prayed for our family but especially for Tobey Jude. I can't explain the love that was in that room, and feeling God in that room. I am eternally grateful for the family we have found, and there are not enough words to ever express that. We are so blessed.
As you know I am what you would call a fan of The Beatles, and sometimes before Tobey goes to sleep I sing and sign this song to Tobey. On our way to Church today it was played on the radio, again not a coincidence....
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Boy! There are days that I don't know if I am going to make it through with you, you can wear a Mama down. But there is not a single day that I don't thank God for you, you amaze me, make me laugh, make me cry. Mama loves you....
Having a kid like Tobey Jude, birthdays are different. First off the emotional.."Why me?" starts creeping in. You start thinking about what he should be doing right now. At 8, Tobey Jude should be obsessed with Lego's and battling me on doing homework. And then you realize that he is obsessed with vacuums and he will never battle me on homework...he never has any. I wish as a Mom I could stop doing those comparisons, but I can't.
But, Tobey did do some great things for the celebration of him. He actually blew out the candles on his cake, and when people told him Happy Birthday he clapped a few times! He was quiet today, I think because he was so outgoing yesterday he needed to chill a little.
Sometimes, when you have a kid like Tobey Jude you just want people to know him and love him. And today we had that. It just happened to be on his Birthday (I don't really believe in coincidence, this was a God thing) some leaders and members of our Church along with some dear friends laid hands and prayed for our family but especially for Tobey Jude. I can't explain the love that was in that room, and feeling God in that room. I am eternally grateful for the family we have found, and there are not enough words to ever express that. We are so blessed.
As you know I am what you would call a fan of The Beatles, and sometimes before Tobey goes to sleep I sing and sign this song to Tobey. On our way to Church today it was played on the radio, again not a coincidence....
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Boy! There are days that I don't know if I am going to make it through with you, you can wear a Mama down. But there is not a single day that I don't thank God for you, you amaze me, make me laugh, make me cry. Mama loves you....
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Hello, Hello.....
I am pretty sure I have done that blog title before...if I have just add a 2013 to it. Ok, now we can all get on with our lives, and the blog.
I haven't blogged since the gun blog, besides the holidays and the raising of the children we have been swamped. And there is a lot, so this is probably going to be a very random blog, sorry. :)
The kids enjoyed Christmas, even though that isn't really any real news...EVERY kid enjoys Christmas (unless they are Jewish and rocking the menorah). We didn't do all of our traditional stuff but we were able to fit some in. The kids events at clubs and school stuff what getting a little out of hand. For New Years, the kids ate junk food and fell asleep, I ate junk food and fell asleep...by 10:30.
On the first day of the New Year, Eddie and I were feeling more optimistic then we ever had. And we both decided that we were going to live more for the day and try to simplify things. We were about a week in when we realized there is nothing simple about our lives. We have 7 kids that are all unique, 5 different schools to contend with, and we have more appointments than anyone I know. So since I can't change any of those things, except next year only 4 schools (Holla!), we need to change some other things.
One thing that Eddie and I truly lack in is being more assertive, and stepping out of our comfort zone for fear of either failure, or being rejected. I have decided that I have had enough, and had enough of being such a victim. There are times that we get so overwhelmed with the boys we just give up certain battles. We also just kinda go with the pace of where life takes us, instead of controlling it. We are done feeling guilty about things in the past, and just going to keep moving forward
One thing that we are doing is Eddie is starting a DJ business. If you don't know my husband he is insanely funny and outgoing. He is also uber talented at music and knows his stuff. He has a dear friend that is loaning him the equipment and today he already got confirmation of his first paying gig!!!! We are so excited about starting this, and maybe bring in some extra money! Because as I have found out, I am not able to work and handle the kids....even though Lord knows I tried!
We are also moving!!! We are staying in Plymouth, because it just seems to be such a great fit for us. But we had the chance to get our dream home, and we jumped on it! It is an old Church that has been converted into a home, and perfect! I mean PERFECT! It is huge, and has a ton of bathrooms, large kitchen, formal dining...but the best part of the house? Are you ready for it? It has a gym with a stage!!!!! I mean really, how great is that going to be for the Tobey? He will have room for a sensory room, and room to run without being outside! He will be safe. Just awesome. And the stage! Oh my word people....I totally see us doing some dancing at night on there before bed! And the kids can do their talent shows...it's too much! It is also closer to our Dr's and Tobey's school...huge blessing! On a side note, this was our miracle at Church...I will go in depth on that in another blog this week.
So, in the spirit of being random, here is the update on the kids.
Lena, well she is still a teenager with an attitude. But, we are getting along better. She showed me here report card yesterday and she got honor roll...including an A in Chinease! What?!?!?! That is like crazy smart!
Alison, you know the graceful child is off of crutches now, and only wearing a brace for sports. The final verdict was she bruised her actual knee cap? I don't know...just relieved to be done with that one. I say this with L O V E (you are supposed to spell that) but she is such a drama queen!
Edwin, so less than an hour after we find out that Alison doesn't need surgery, we get a call from the Boys and Girls Club saying that Edwin is having a fit. Edwin doesn't have meltdowns, that is Tobey's domain. So we rush over there and there he is on a room with the club director, barely breathing and screaming of chest pain. I tried to be calm, but his heart (rheumatic heart disease last year) had me freaking worried. We rushed him to the Dr and they thought he may have cracked a rib in his meltdown. They sent me for X rays, they gave me directions which I thought was hilarious, and he was fine. But taking a step back we realized that his behavior has worsened and he is becoming more withdrawn than usual. Also, the dude was having panic attacks. So we got a referral for a new Psychiatrist that doesn't practice in a mental hospital or insane asylum. Which brings me to today....I was in hopes that I was being overly cautious with Edwin and the gun thing, and his fantasy world. I was secretly wishing that they were going to tell me that he is as "normal" as he can be. They did not, we are looking at getting the boy into some serious care, or as I refer to it "a crap load more appointments". We are going back on the 24th to review his case with a specialist, and change up the meds....fun.
Olivia turned 10!!!! Her big gift is going to be a turtle, which she will get in the new house. So she ended up with some Barbie stuff, fashion design stuff and a bunch of knotting supplies! She is still on a winning Basketball team at the Club and will defiantly be in the finals! Not only have they never lost, but when they win it is by like 40 points.
Tobey Jude, well to be honest he is getting harder to handle. And since that would be such a long update with all the appointments, I will give you a funny story. Tobey is a fan of chicken, which he has had a lot of lately. His weight is not where it should be, so I am trying to fatten the kid up a little....going on. Well Tobey figured out that if he said "Deep fried chicken" that if possible I will get that boy some chicken. Also with Tobey being his Autistic self, once he figures out a phrase he will repeat it 9,000 times. So we are now having hours of him saying "Deep fried chicken", I am woke up at 5 in the morning with his mantra of "Deep fried chicken", I hear it when I go to sleep, in my dreams and it has made it's way to my soul. I know that I should be thankful for anything the boy says...it is a miracle, thank you God that he is talking some...yadda, yadda. But can't he say deep fried shrimp just to change it up a little?
Emily is amazing! This kid blows my mind! She has her gifted testing next month, I have no idea how different that must be from the other thousands of tests my kids have done...should be interesting!
And Miss Melody, well speaking of testing we are sending in her first test for ADHD today....and so it begins.
So, that is all today, have a blessed one!
I haven't blogged since the gun blog, besides the holidays and the raising of the children we have been swamped. And there is a lot, so this is probably going to be a very random blog, sorry. :)
The kids enjoyed Christmas, even though that isn't really any real news...EVERY kid enjoys Christmas (unless they are Jewish and rocking the menorah). We didn't do all of our traditional stuff but we were able to fit some in. The kids events at clubs and school stuff what getting a little out of hand. For New Years, the kids ate junk food and fell asleep, I ate junk food and fell asleep...by 10:30.
On the first day of the New Year, Eddie and I were feeling more optimistic then we ever had. And we both decided that we were going to live more for the day and try to simplify things. We were about a week in when we realized there is nothing simple about our lives. We have 7 kids that are all unique, 5 different schools to contend with, and we have more appointments than anyone I know. So since I can't change any of those things, except next year only 4 schools (Holla!), we need to change some other things.
One thing that Eddie and I truly lack in is being more assertive, and stepping out of our comfort zone for fear of either failure, or being rejected. I have decided that I have had enough, and had enough of being such a victim. There are times that we get so overwhelmed with the boys we just give up certain battles. We also just kinda go with the pace of where life takes us, instead of controlling it. We are done feeling guilty about things in the past, and just going to keep moving forward
One thing that we are doing is Eddie is starting a DJ business. If you don't know my husband he is insanely funny and outgoing. He is also uber talented at music and knows his stuff. He has a dear friend that is loaning him the equipment and today he already got confirmation of his first paying gig!!!! We are so excited about starting this, and maybe bring in some extra money! Because as I have found out, I am not able to work and handle the kids....even though Lord knows I tried!
We are also moving!!! We are staying in Plymouth, because it just seems to be such a great fit for us. But we had the chance to get our dream home, and we jumped on it! It is an old Church that has been converted into a home, and perfect! I mean PERFECT! It is huge, and has a ton of bathrooms, large kitchen, formal dining...but the best part of the house? Are you ready for it? It has a gym with a stage!!!!! I mean really, how great is that going to be for the Tobey? He will have room for a sensory room, and room to run without being outside! He will be safe. Just awesome. And the stage! Oh my word people....I totally see us doing some dancing at night on there before bed! And the kids can do their talent shows...it's too much! It is also closer to our Dr's and Tobey's school...huge blessing! On a side note, this was our miracle at Church...I will go in depth on that in another blog this week.
So, in the spirit of being random, here is the update on the kids.
Lena, well she is still a teenager with an attitude. But, we are getting along better. She showed me here report card yesterday and she got honor roll...including an A in Chinease! What?!?!?! That is like crazy smart!
Alison, you know the graceful child is off of crutches now, and only wearing a brace for sports. The final verdict was she bruised her actual knee cap? I don't know...just relieved to be done with that one. I say this with L O V E (you are supposed to spell that) but she is such a drama queen!
Edwin, so less than an hour after we find out that Alison doesn't need surgery, we get a call from the Boys and Girls Club saying that Edwin is having a fit. Edwin doesn't have meltdowns, that is Tobey's domain. So we rush over there and there he is on a room with the club director, barely breathing and screaming of chest pain. I tried to be calm, but his heart (rheumatic heart disease last year) had me freaking worried. We rushed him to the Dr and they thought he may have cracked a rib in his meltdown. They sent me for X rays, they gave me directions which I thought was hilarious, and he was fine. But taking a step back we realized that his behavior has worsened and he is becoming more withdrawn than usual. Also, the dude was having panic attacks. So we got a referral for a new Psychiatrist that doesn't practice in a mental hospital or insane asylum. Which brings me to today....I was in hopes that I was being overly cautious with Edwin and the gun thing, and his fantasy world. I was secretly wishing that they were going to tell me that he is as "normal" as he can be. They did not, we are looking at getting the boy into some serious care, or as I refer to it "a crap load more appointments". We are going back on the 24th to review his case with a specialist, and change up the meds....fun.
Olivia turned 10!!!! Her big gift is going to be a turtle, which she will get in the new house. So she ended up with some Barbie stuff, fashion design stuff and a bunch of knotting supplies! She is still on a winning Basketball team at the Club and will defiantly be in the finals! Not only have they never lost, but when they win it is by like 40 points.
Tobey Jude, well to be honest he is getting harder to handle. And since that would be such a long update with all the appointments, I will give you a funny story. Tobey is a fan of chicken, which he has had a lot of lately. His weight is not where it should be, so I am trying to fatten the kid up a little....going on. Well Tobey figured out that if he said "Deep fried chicken" that if possible I will get that boy some chicken. Also with Tobey being his Autistic self, once he figures out a phrase he will repeat it 9,000 times. So we are now having hours of him saying "Deep fried chicken", I am woke up at 5 in the morning with his mantra of "Deep fried chicken", I hear it when I go to sleep, in my dreams and it has made it's way to my soul. I know that I should be thankful for anything the boy says...it is a miracle, thank you God that he is talking some...yadda, yadda. But can't he say deep fried shrimp just to change it up a little?
Emily is amazing! This kid blows my mind! She has her gifted testing next month, I have no idea how different that must be from the other thousands of tests my kids have done...should be interesting!
And Miss Melody, well speaking of testing we are sending in her first test for ADHD today....and so it begins.
So, that is all today, have a blessed one!
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