April 2, 2013

Well, today is World Autism Awareness Day.   So, I thought I would share with you my experiences with autism.  
I have an eight year old boy, Mr. Tobey Jude, and a twelve year old rock star son, Edwin.  Not to mention the other kids that have, to quote our psychologist, a "sprinkling" of autism.   That's right, we love autism so much we have begun to sprinkle it on our other kids!
So, when I was Tobey's age, I did not have that much experience with autism or special needs, with the exception of my Grandma who had Polio.  In fact, neither did the world.  It would be three more years until "Rainman" came out.   In 1985, the prevalence of autism in children was 1 in 2500.   In 2009, that number was 1 in 110.   Today the number is closer to 1 in 88.   these rates are "higher then the rates for cerebral palsy (2.8 per 1,000 children), hearing loss (1.1 per 1,000 children) and vision impairment (0.9 per 1,000 children) found in the same study." 
When I was twelve, I lost my Mom from complications from diabetes.   She was 34.   It wasn't until my high school years that I would have any real special needs experiences in school.
Since then, my life and world outlook have been transformed from my kids and my experiences working with other special needs adults.
Whenever I go out, I can spot a special needs kid or adult.  And, I also see the parents.   Frustrated.   Stressed.  Sometimes embarrassed.   I see them because I see them in myself.   You see, Tobey is one handsome little dude.   He has my heart wrapped around his flapping hands.   And, we are now at a stage with him where we can no longer hide the fact that he is autistic.   Up until this point, he was just a quiet little boy.   But, when he starts to stim in public or becomes very loud and vocal because he is over stimulated, there is no hiding the fact he has autism.   I had always wanted normal for my boys.   I never wanted them to be treated differently or worse than other kids.   So this kills me.

And, this doesn't even begin to cover how autism affects my other kids.   Lena, Alison, Olivia, Emily and Melody, bless their hearts, have had to make a lot of sacrifices over the years for the sake of the boys.   But, they are troopers, and you have never seen a group of sisters love their brothers so much.   OK, their brother...Edwin drives them nuts.
So, this is my attempt to light it up blue.   My goal is not to make people aware of autism...I think people are already aware.   It is not to make you feel sorry for us.   Don't!   We're happy!  We have more fun than should legally be allowed.   My goal is to make people aware of the fact that they cannot go anywhere without seeing a special needs person.  
They may be grocery shopping with their caretaker.   They may be out with their families.   They may be the homeless person who can't keep a job and whose family has disowned him out of ignorance for his condition.   Be aware, be merciful, and above all, be kind.  
OK, I'm off the soapbox.