Melissa's Guide To Facebook Etiquette....

After we moved we didn't have internet for a while. Eddie has a smartphone so we could get most of our interneting (is that a word?) done, I could stalk the crazies and we could look up phone numbers without the bother of knowing the alphabet and trying to use that stupid phone book.

Now that we are back online there are a few things that are driving me crazy, and so now I will give you my ideas on how not look like a jerk or idiot on Facebook.

1. You do not need to post about your dinner every night on Facebook. I am glad that you are eating dinner in this day and age, but there has got to be something bigger and better in your life that telling your 600 Facebook friends that you are eating meatloaf. Now, there is a loophole to this...a freind of mine the other day made Sushi, and that is impressive! So unless it's Sushi or some other monumental dinner (Thanksgiving, date night or your kids are covered in spaghetti) I am good.
2. Pertaining to numeral uno....I don't need to see a thousand recipes of things I don't have the energy to cook. If I am feeding my kids mac and cheese and I see a recipe for a lobster bisque, it makes me feel like crap. 
3. Keep the Drama down! I mean really? I know more about peoples relationships than I need to. There are some "friends" on Facebook that I hardly know in real life and because of their postings I know the most intimate details of their life. For one, that causes me to stalk you and it takes up my time, for two...somethings need to be kept in the home.
4. Stop posting thousands of memes! My gosh people! Unless it is important to you or makes you LOL or ROTFL you don't need to post it. I think 2 a day is sufficient, 3 if it has Charlie Brown. 
5. So, this one may make you hate me but it has to said. Not everything is life or death...unless it is. As a parent to special needs children it can get really old. If your kid has a cold, I am sorry but there are kids that have Cancer and the parents would give anything to the days of just dealing with colds. There are people I know that have dealt with infertility for years and I can only imagine the pain that it causes them to see parents complain about the stupidest things, like kids crying or being....wait for it....KIDS! You have a kid! It is not easy to raise children..I know that, but no one ever said it would be.
6. If you are really, I mean truly having the absolutely worst day ever than by all means post it and ask for prayers...if it is the worst day ever because you have a hangnail and you are stuck behind some slow drivers..... Well then let's get a grip and move on with life.
7. Okay, now we are getting a little personal here. I may have to block your butt if I need to worry that my husband see's your boobs, butt or other body part that should be covered up. Some things are better left to the imagination. Let's leave that there.
8. Be real. I am in shock at how some people are online and then nothing like that in real life. For example my Husband is sometimes inappropriate on Facebook and in real life he is the same way. You see what you get.... In that vein, I am no longer censoring my husbands stuff, because I have a job now :)
9. If I am posting a picture of Tobey Jude and he is not looking a little drugged out...I expect at least 100 likes and upwards of ten comments on how cute he is. Okay this one is not a real issue but man, it is so hard to get a good pic of that boy. I blame it on his Ritalin and excessive studliness.

So there you have it. Melissa's list on Facebook etiquette, and now I am am off to post some Autism awareness stuff and maybe a Charlie Brown pic :)

My Relationship With God....

Eddie is never serious except when it comes to stewardship. Eddie takes the role of overseeing our faith very seriously.No matter how tired he is he will try his best to answerr the kids questions about Jesus, he leads the prayer at every family meal and he has just this crazy passion for God. 

When my Dad died and I was (well, still) having all these emotions about him Eddie kept asking me how my relationship with God was going. I would just give him the generic answer of "It's fine" and even though he was not satisfied he would move on and not pressure me too much. Well, he kept pushing and I finally told him how I really felt....

How in the world was I supposed to keep developing my relationship with God when I couldn't seem to keep my head above water? I was having a hard time keeping relationships going with the people who were in front of my face...like Eddie and the 7 children that keep wanting dinner every single night? Too be honest I was failing at even being a good wife ( the brunt of my anger went to poor Eddie) and you want to know how I am doing with God? I didn't know what day of the week it was. I had lost my Dad, my job and moved in a 3 day period. 

Now, don't get me wrong I am NOT angry with God. I personally don't understand why people blame God for everything going wrong. I have heard God being blamed for everything from lost keys to miscarriages. For my Dad's death I blame...well, my Dad. He was the one who made the decisions that caused his life to end. He thought of only himself and threw caution to the wind about how everything should be handled. I blame his immaturity and his thought that he was invincible....guess what? He was not invincible.

Now with that being said, when I get to heaven I have some questions for the big Guy. But the one that I will ask for first is " Why is Tobey Jude the way he is?". I have known people who did drugs during pregnancies and their kids are "normal". That is one fact that has never sat well with me. I have even talked to people about that particular question and I get those responses from people like "He knew you were going to be a strong woman and knew you can handle it" or "He only gives those children to the special parents". Heck, there are even poems about that. But with how well meaning those comments are, and I know they really don't know what to say...those responses are honestly a bunch of malarkey (old word, look it up). But notice that I didn't blame God, just would like an answer.

**DISCLAIMER**

Just want to make sure that blog world understands I am not angry that Tobey Jude is the way he is. I do feel blessed every day that I get to be that little vacuum -loving kids Mom. 

So here dear husband is your complete answer....My journey to God is getting there. There is a reason it is called a journey. Because even though I wasn't moving ahead I had to sit and take break, like a rest stop. (Let's see how long I can continue this analogy). I didn't backtrack or even take a wrong turn (still going with analogy) but I needed to regroup or and fill up my tank (okay I am stretching it here). And I am back on the path and getting back to where I needed to be headed (better now). Thank God, that I have you and our Church as my GPS and they saw that I was stranded on the journey (that was pretty good, and deep).

Not sure how to do this one.....

So, dear friends it has been a while. We have experienced sooo many changes, some good and some heartbreaking. Besides the kids switching schools, Eddie and I getting new jobs, moving to the country....the one that sticks in my mind is that my Dad died. That is still hard to type, he died on July 29th and it is not real. I have been through so much in my lifetime, and I don't get knocked down easy. But this one knocked me down, and it is still hard getting back up. I feel like that lady on the Medic Alert commercial that is laying on the floor claiming that she's fallen and she can't get up.

Ed and I kinda laugh at the commercial (I know that is so wrong of us) but the first thing we think is she doesn't look like she is even hurt really. She is not that old, she is on carpet, I don't see what tripped her and last but not least why in the world is the cameraman not helping the woman up?

In my case of not getting up there are moments it just seems impossible, like really wrong to get back up. Maybe it's because I am scared I am falling again....

I did not have the Father / Daughter relationship that my husband shares with my five girls. I had a relationship of fear and being totally controlled. In our family there was no traditions, or fun dance parties before bed. There was no laughter or family dinners. I think that is why that stuff is so important to me now. I want the kids childhood to be happier than mine.

With Dad dying there has been a lot of soul searching. But no matter how much I think about it, pray about it, talk about it...I can't get back up again.

I am not sure why...Is it because he is the last one? I now have no parents or grandparents. Is it because I miss something I didn't even have? A relationship that could have been so much better if he was not such a closed off person. Is it because, I was with him when he died after three days of waiting for him to pass and making decisions that no human should EVER have to make? Or maybe it's because I am having memories that I have blocked out for so long coming back at me when I am so vulnerable?

One thing I know for sure, is I am angry. I am angry at a dead man, and he doesn't care about that now. He has moved on and I am stuck here feeling all of these stupid emotions, that I just want to leave. I want to block them at and not think about them before I go to sleep, and wake up to the same thoughts. I want the days back when I immediately thought to check on Tobey Jude and smile when I think about the vacuum that he will inevitably have in bed with him. But no. I  lay there and think about the horrible things my Dad did, the horrible things he said. The fact that he called off my wedding, or said terrible things about Tobey...the list goes on and on. Then I feel guilty, because he was my father and that is so wrong to feel that way about him and that is so wrong of me. And then I see flashbacks of him when he was in the hospital bed and seeing him scared for the first time in my life, or the moment when he realized he was blind and he was trying to see the Dr. helping him, or the moment that he was somewhat lucid before he passed and I feel like the most evil person on Earth for being angry.

So, that is where I am at right now...just stuck. The crazy thing about being stuck is the world keeps moving on regardless. The kids still want dinner ( needy little humans!) , holidays still happen, homework still needs to be turned in and those needy little people need help with it. And you learn to just go through the motions but not really connected. Does that even make sense? I am so ready to connect again, I am so ready to have that uncontrolled laughter that you end up crying and your nose is running and it's impossible to catch your breath so you can breathe? I so want that. Who knows, maybe writing this blog can help get rid of those bad feelings. I hope so.

See you soon....