Monday, November 26, 2012

The Husband Strikes Again, Dorks

Hello, husband here.   This week is the first week of Melissa's and my split shift work week.   She works the day shift, I work the evening shift.  It is also the first day back to school after Thanksgiving Break for the kids.   So, not counting the bunny, two dogs, and one annoying cat, I am here...ALONE!  
It's quiet...a bit too quiet.   And WONDERFUL!   I love the kids, but I haven't yelled at anyone to stop hitting their sister or to find their shoe or to stop licking something.   It's great!  
So, here I am, ghost blogging on my wife's account.   So, here now, are some random thoughts.
  • Turkey is wonderful...once a year.   Sincerely.   We love turkey.   We love stuffing (only my wife's will do).  And we tolerate cranberry dressing.   Once a year.   That's it people!   Maybe I need to start deep frying them...
  • I am taking bets now on how many hats and gloves I will need to buy this year.   Everyone else in the civilized world will say 'Seven kids?   That's seven hats; seven pairs of gloves!  Learn yourself some math, doofus!'   Whoa there!  Slow your roll, player.   My kids REGULARLY lose their hats and gloves.   That's why we are a fan of coats with hoods and pockets.  My daughter Emily got a hat from a crossing guard who loves my kids on Tuesday morning.   She had lost it by the end of the day.  I'm going with four of each right now...(side note, dollar tree sells hats and gloves for a buck.  FYI)
  • Housework is for losers.   That being said, I lost.
  • I just did a kickboxing cardio work out.   On a completely unrelated note, what does a heart attack/stroke feel like?
  • When the Mayans were figuring up the date for the end of the world, did they figure in leap years and daylight savings time?   And if so, does that mean the world will end in Australia first?  And do people in Starke county have one more hour than us in Marshall and St. Joseph?  Does that really seem fair?
  • I called my wife a dork.   Later on, she looked up the definition of the word dork.   She was not amused.
Well, that's all for now.   Let us make preparations for Festivus!

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