The faces of Tobey Jude....

I wonder how people truly view Tobey....I see him as the cutest 6 year old in the world, I see his humor, his spirit and his smile. To me,he is the most amazing kid who has amazing energy and every time he leaves to go to school...I see him taking my heart out that door.

But there are times when I look at him and I see the awkward hand positioning, the spaced off looks, the lack of awareness, the stemming, the confusion of his surroundings and the fear in his eyes.

And then we go to the mall and I see the stares because he is having a meltdown, or the looks of pity after you explain that no he is not shy...he's Autistic... And then they don't look at him the same....there is this sad look on their face and they talk to him like he is a newborn, or not at all.

I have noticed that the grandparents are finally talking to him, and treating him better...maybe they are finally getting used to him. I still see the looks of pity from them...And I still don't think that they really know him...Tobey Jude.

I am so lucky that people at Church know him, there is no pity...they just love him. Not because he is adorable, not because they feel sorry for him...but I think that the may be the only people on this Earth that know him, besides us.

Tobey is this goofball who loves music (The Beatles!!! I trained him right!), he is the most loving kid that loves to look at books and ride our dog. But once you say "He is Autistic"...you might as well just say be quoting Sarah Palin speeches...you have lost your audience...It's frustrating, he is so much more than people see.

I have seen this on Facebook tons of times...you know those copy and paste things that everyone does....special needs don't need pity, they need to just feel normal sometimes and to be accepted for who they are and not defined by it...

On the flip side I don't want to define myself by my children's limitations...I don't want people to see me only as the mother of 2 sons with Autism...but this is a very thin line. I am not embarrassed by my sons and I am proud of them in everything they do, I am proud of all my kids. I am not sure how to be the Mom who stands up for Autism and special needs and also be the Mom to 5 girls, an employee, a Christian, a wife and daughter...It is so hard to the other things when one of them tends to take over your life and is always at the front of my mind.

The sermon yesterday at Church was about if someone asked you if you were a Christian would you be able to answer with a resounding "Yes!" and not have to think about it. I would have no problem with that question, I have no doubt in my heart and soul that I love Christ and I want to follow his ways. But am I the best Christian in the world? Uhmmm...that would be a no. If I have free time I don't spend the time in prayer or reading the Bible. I grab a nap or look up therapies on-line, or try to find a better deal on chewie tubes, or try and take a shower with no interruptions. I myself am the definition of being defined by something that I don't want to at times.....so I guess that I can't blame others for doing that to Tobey Jude when I am not the best example. It is so hard to not let things take over your life, you get trapped in those definitions so easily.

So thanks for the therapy....I am off to have a lunch date with 2 great ladies and then off to an IEP meeting for Tobey, drop off water for lead testing, get a background check for the new job and fill out paperwork for the boys....wait a minute here...I am getting pulled back in.

Ahhh, Thursday....

Today Eddie and I went to do our taxes. I tried to explain to Emily what taxes are....she showed the lady her pocket so she could put the money right in there. Not exactly how it works, but I will give her credit for being cute! She also calls them taxi's....

The lady that has done our taxes the past few years invited all of us to Chuck E. Cheese on Saturday....I am sure Chuck E. Cheese will be thrilled to see Tobey again after he spilled so many drinks in record time when we were there 2 weeks ago. She also has a 5 year old with special needs and wants to start coming to our group at Church...she has no real resources around here. I love how just doing taxes can turn into an opportunity to invite some one to our group and our Church!

Emily is asking Eddie for a kitten, I don't know how this one will turn out. I am enjoying the amount of pets we have, and Eddie does not like cats....but I have yet to see him tell Emily no on things like this....it may be a fight to the finish! In her defense our cat is pretty old and not really so much a pet as he is a decoration that we feed.

I am getting excited about working again.I have made out the schedule for the kids and Eddie for when I am gone and working on teaching the kids a few more chores....Now, this looks good in print, we will see how it ends up.

Monday is Tobey's IEP meeting. IEP is short for Individual Education Plan. This meeting will help make sure that Tobey's teacher and us are in the same side as far as his education. So far, I am thrilled with Lifeskills and Tobey is learning some "normal"skills. They sent home a copy of him writing his name with some help and it almost made me cry. It is such a weird feeling seeing something like that. On one hand you are so proud of them for accomplishing a "normal" thing...On the other hand it breaks your heart to see that they have been working on this for 2 years and he still needs help with it. I wonder if the time will come when I will just be proud and not heartbroken.....

Eddie is ready to be home this weekend! He has had a rough few weeks and we are so looking forward to just vegging out on the couch Saturday night and watching a movie! I am not sure what movie we are going to watch yet. Anybody have a suggestion?

Melody managed to cut her hair again!!!! I don't know where the heck she keeps finding scissors and what her fascination is with cutting her hair. I mean I have heard of kids doing it once, but this is like the twelfth time! We are getting close to the point of just letting her shave it all off! I think that is what she wants....what an odd child.

So, I am off now to find the scissors that Melody has stashed somewhere....have a good one!

Monday night.....

This is Mr.Tobey Jude at school when he got off the bus...Why is Tobey sleeping? Good question...Tobey went to bed at 6:37 am, and we get up at 6:40. I probably should have kept him home, hindsight is always 20/20.

Edwin woke up around midnight screaming his head off, by the time I got him settled in (4 hours), Tobey was wide awake and there was no hope of him going back to sleep. By the time Eddie got home from working a 10 hour shift I was not a happy mother. He watched the kids so I could take a nap...but I was not in a good mood. It has been a little while since I had pulled an all-nighter with Tobey and I amount of practice.

So, here is the big news around here. Lena has her first semi-formal dance next weekend! I have been waiting for one of these since she was born. I never got to do this with my Mom, so I am giddy with excitement! Alison has had a lot of playdates with her new friend. Edwin got on honor roll!!!!! The boy that kept getting sent home from Madison is now on honors at Darden!!!! I am so proud of him! Olivia is busy planning a wedding for her Minnie doll, we don't have a Mickey doll so the whole thing may end badly. Tobey has figured out how to ride the dog. Emily now is sporting a butterfly tattoo. And Melody? Well she has discovered a new show on tv and we have lost control over the big screen!

Friday I am taking a first aid and CPR class at the Red Cross. I have heard then say that the mouth to mouth part, that is a relief it always creeped me out.

The kids are getting so excited about going to Disney...we are leaving on April 1st!!!! Edwin wants to hug Mickey....how cute is that? It is taking a lot more planning than I thought it would. We have never even had a family vacation, let alone one like this. I had no idea how many reservations and figuring out everything took. It will all be worth it though. The kids talk about it daily...

Well, that is all today! Have a good one!

Generations

Sometimes, I think about the generation gap between my kids and myself. It really is amazing the difference 20+ years can make. Here is an example:

When I was growing up, one of my husbands favorite cartoons on Saturday mornings(Saturday morning cartoons are an example all by themselves!) was The Flintstones. He remembers when networks actually thought enough of cartoons to have spin offs!

Today, most of what the kids watch (wow, do I sound old) is CGI and cartoons about card games and monsters. I was always a fan of Strawberry Shortcake.

What got me thinking about this is when Emily asked to watch a cartoon about Fred the Caveman. She wasn't interested in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Spongebob Squarepants. She wanted to watch one of the classics! Ed was very pleased with this.

On the flip side, My kids will one day tell their kids about the good old days when Spongebob was on nickelodeon and MTV didn't play music!

They will reminisce about Jersey Shore and Lindsay Lohan and her many stints in rehab.

"I remember when you could get a candy bar for only $1.50!!!"

"Are you going to wear that out? When I was your age, our skirts went all the way down to our upper thigh!"

"We used to have to wait a full 2 minutes for our microwave to cook food!"

"Snoop Dogg wasn't always president of the U.S. He used to be a rapper!"

I officially know now what my parents felt! They always predicted it. "Someday, when you have kids, you'll know what I'm talking about!"

O well, time to take my Geritol and drink some prune juice. Ow, my hip!

A conversation with the almost 6 year old Tobey!

Now one thing I have always wanted was a conversation with Tobey Jude and yesterday I kinda got it! So, here it is, in about as much detail as I can....

Tobey was looking in Olivia's backpack and found a candy cane from her Christmas Party at school.....I heard him say "Nice!".

He then brought me the candy cane to open it and I told him that we have to be quiet so the other kids don't try to take it from him....He said "Shhhhh" and put his finger up to his mouth.

As he ran off with his treasure I heard him say "CAAAAANNNNDDYYY CAAAANE!", now I know we weren't exactly pouring out our hearts and souls, but that was just cool. He has also been putting his toys to bed and he says good night and gives them kisses...too cute! He is doing so well, and it is such an honor to watch it!

Olivia is home sick today with a temperature, I think she will be fine for school on Thursday...at least she better be! We have our lead appointment and the less kids I have here the better.

Since we are having the lead people out tomorrow and I may not have time to get on here on Tobey's birthday....here is some facts that you may not know about Tobey (even though you probably know a lot of them)!

• Tobey's favorite food is anything with noodles.
• His favorite veggie is corn on the cob and he acts like a monster when he eats it!
• Every morning he wakes up happy and laughing.
• He hums the theme song from the Elf movie when it is snowing outside and I am putting on his coat for the bus.
• He only eats the frosting off of cake and cupcakes (butter cream).
• He plays with his cars so long that he wears the paint off.
• He sleeps with his cars, and I can tell you that waking up with a matchbox car in your back is not fun!
• He LOVES shopping, I think it is the wheels on the carts that draws him in.
• He will take off at Meijer's for some reason and has caused a code Adam more than once!
• He will say the word "cookie" when we drive by McDonald's, and we have to stop and get him the chocolate chip one.
• When he gets home from school he will open the dishwasher and dryer to see what has changed in them while he was gone!
• He is the only non-verbal in his class and yet gets into the most trouble!

Happy Birthday Tobey Jude, you have changed my life and made me a better person! I love you!!!!!

Funny how things work out....

Yesterday morning I woke up as a stay at home Mom and went to bed as an employed one! Weird how things work out....

Eddie and I make do, and the care and time it takes for 7 kids is overwhelming, so we made a decision that when I took off time from having back surgery that I would simply not go back (no pun intended) to work at Target. Now, I LOVED my job at Target and I miss the discount so bad I could cry, but at the time it was way too hard to juggle 7 kids and working.

But a few months ago, I was toying with getting a job, not really putting in apps and stuff but keeping things open....And then we moved here. The house is so easy to take care of and the kids are getting older....and I started thinking that maybe I should get more serious about getting a job. I knew that there was things that I didn't want to do....retail-simply getting sick of it, Starbucks- fun for a day and then you get sick of smelling coffee, and then I have a lot of experience at Nursing Homes, but not really wanting to try and take care of 30 people by myself and lifting up people all day long with the back issues. So, I felt kinda stuck and then I got a phone call from some friends at Church wanting to hire me to help with special needs adults in their homes....flexible hours, decent pay and I am somewhat (haha) comfortable with special needs. WOW!!!! I am nearly giddy that I am going to get paid to do something that I am already passionate about! And there are willing to help provide financial help for the Precious Stones group...what more could I ask for? So, next is first aid training, CPR and med certification and then I am good to go!

Alison has made a really good friend in our new neighborhood, she is just adorable and Edwin has already fallen head over heels in love with her! Of course just like everybody in the world, she has her story. She has a cochlear implant and some other issues, but here is how she has stolen all of our hearts....especially mine. Her Mom is in need of a liver transplant and dying....just doesn't seem fair. Saturday when she was here I sat at the dining room table, just us and we talked about Mom's. She is the same age I was when my Mom was dying and it was almost like seeing a little me..... So after our long talk...we put on a fashion show, talent show and sang pop songs. I told her to come back anytime....I just want to see her be a kid and not lose that. So, they are in need of prayers.....

Tobey is going to be 6 in 2 days!!!! Just doesn't seem real, probably because he is the size of a 4 year old....We have had some changes with him lately, they are bittersweet.....We are getting more language with him daily which seems amazing and is the best thing in the world to hear. And then we are seeing more "Autism qualities" more hand flapping, excessive blinking and zoning out. Autism is one of those things where it is 2 steps froward and 1 step back. I am happy as long as he keep stepping forward.

We are just going to have a small party at home this year, but I am actually going to wrap his gifts this time. He used to never open them....he would simply stare at them. Now the boy loves opening gifts....the difference a year makes!

We had a great time at Chuck E. Cheese.....the kids turned in like 200 tickets and we came home with a marker, coloring page and suckers. Oh, I forgot they also got gum.....it is now attached to Lucy. Edwin wants to go back in March for his birthday....I don't know if I will be ready to go back that soon! That is one thing with having a lot of kids....there is a lot of party's!

Today we are cleaning the house and going to try and have a family meeting to discuss such fun topics of....healthier eating, Mom's new job and everyone wanted the dog, why am I the only one who takes care of it? We are also going to talk about an increase in chores....the kids will be soooo happy! That was sarcasm.....I hope you have a great day! See you on Wednesday!

Fridays with the Holstein's...

So, after getting 5 kids on the bus and dropping off Emily and Melody at Buffy's', we ran a few errands and then finally made it to lunch.

We tried out Angelo's after hearing great raves about it. It was pretty good, the cake was awesome! But, Eddie and I have decided that we must be 2 of the most boring people alive. I tried to not to spend our few moments away from the kids, talking about the kids. Eddie and I know each other so well, that we have no stories to tell each other. So, we ended up with Eddie making up the history of terms...."I am good now" according to Eddie was somehow started from a preacher that used to be very bad and then turned out to be good....Eddie had a lot of these. And then after talking about who had the best store brand ice cream...we decided to talk about the kids.

We took all the kids to Chuck E. Cheese...that was fun. Everybody acts like that is just insane to go there. But we had a great time except that we were seated next to the most annoying machine there. Tobey spilled 2 drinks in less than 2 minutes, which may be a record....Olivia was giddy with all her tickets and then a little heart broken to walk away with a sucker and a ring.

We had quite a few people show up for Chuck E, Cheese with us. It was nice because we stopped doing family party's a long time ago. My friend Michelle brought 3 of her kids, my Dad and his "live in" (I don't know why he calls her that), my sister-in-laws Elisa and her son Trace, and Abby and her son Caleb came. So we were quite the group. I wonder if they are all going to come when we have to go back in March for Edwin's birthday?

Today, Eddie is at work even though it is Saturday...he has to work all weekend. I am not happy about this because I will have to drive the big van that I am horrible at parking. And it is not easy getting 7 kids ready by yourself when you are on a timeline....But this time of year, Eddie works a ton of hours so, I need to get over it (and learn how to park the van).

Today I am going to make the kids deep clean their rooms and bribe them with a movie this afternoon. I am in hopes that Eddie gets home by 7:15 tonight so that I can try to get actual groceries in the house again. I am down to a gallon of milk and some canned goods...really need to go and get that done before the kids start rebelling.

So, that is all for today....have a great Saturday!

The Lead strikes again!

Today the lead department was supposed to come over and check out the new house. But yesterday they called us and informed us that yet again Tobey's level has spiked up to a scary number again....So, they are coming out next Thursday to do a more thorough check of the new house. I don't think it is this house, I think that it spiked at the last one. For all I know Tobey ate a lead chip on his last day at the house as a final farewell to the house....

So, Eddie and I are going to enjoy the lunch date and then tonight we are going to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate Olivia's 8th birthday and Tobey's 6th, and we are going to have a great time and not discuss lead. And then we are going to go stricter on the diet on Monday and focus more on getting rid of this metal and getting on with our lives. No offense to Paige the lead health nurse, but I would be happy to never see this lady again. Unfortunately, if Tobey "drops" at a normal level...we are still looking at a year. And I love Tobey but, he does nothing normal!

Edwin has been a holy terror at school lately, and not much better at home. I don't know what the heck his issue is...but there has been hitting and cussing. So, as you can guess we have been getting a lot of notes lately.

Melody cut her hair AGAIN!!!! Eddie and I have come to the conclusion that she either wants a mullet or just go full on bald! Do we just let her go bald as a sign of self expression? I explained to her yesterday that I will let her go bald when she turns 18...Emily chimed in that is when she plans on getting a tattoo. I am obviously very talented at raising rebels! We all have our callings....

So, I am off to seize the day and do great things like drop the girls off at the sitters, and go to the grocery store and try to get cupcakes home without knocking them over....have a good one!

About Ted Williams.....

Disclaimer: As you know I usually blog about my family, Church, Autism...and as of recent, appliances. But not today, and this may turn into a rant, you have been forewarned.

I love hearing the story about Ted Williams life. If you have ever been done and out you know how hard it is to get back on your feet. And can almost be impossible without family support, which brings me to today's blog.

If I could, I wish that I could talk to this man's Mother. Now, before I go off on Ted's mom, I would like to point out that I am not the perfect Mom, and I have never claimed to be. I have messed up in more ways than I could ever count, and should probably apologize to my children daily. I also don't like to be judgemental of people, but I am human and as I said, admittedly not perfect.

So, here we go my thoughts to Ted's mother....How did you sleep at night? How do you lay your head on your pillow, say your prayers and rest knowing that your child is on the street? A child that you birthed, changed diapers, helped with homework , fed and clothed....

Did you just pretend he didn't exist for 10 years? Did you make Christmas dinner for the rest of the family and just avoided the topic of Ted while sitting around a ham?

Did you think of your son while you were going to your Church and hearing how Jesus helped the ones that needed him most? And think of how he needed you to help him and show him the way to him?

You said that you prayed, is that all you have to do? Is it ok to wipe your hands of your son and figured you have done all you can?

I heard her in an interview saying that she needed to protect herself... Motherhood is not about you, it is about sacrifice....not selfishness. It is throwing yourself under the bus, so they don't get a scratch. Parenthood is not done with when they turn 18 or when things get hard. You don't just retire from it....it is not a job, it is a resposibilty and a gift that you can't just return when they are "broken".

I know that Ted Williams is not the only homeless person around. I pass "signers" everyday without a second thought. It has almost become second nature to see homelessness out there, and they probably have families that have given up on them and avoid their names at the dinner table. So, maybe I shouldn't pick on Ted's mom (even though it drives me nuts with all of her furs and fur accessories). Maybe that is what things have come to now....say a prayer, ignore their signs and wipe your hands of the whole mess.

My heart just goes out to Ted, we faced homelessness with the fire, we have been forgotten with our families...and thank God, we have been redeemed. I hope that Ted keeps having miracles in his life. I hope that he has a great life and can get over the past.....

And tomorrow when I am having a lunch date with Eddie, I will probably look at the "signers" in a different way...they all have a story, and probably been turned away from the ones that should love them the most.

So, that is all today....have a good one....

Figuring out the house....

Well, first off we LOVE our new home but I must be an idiot when it comes to appliances. Just yesterday I finally figured out the dishwasher! For some reason if I wash the glasses on the top rack they come out horrible, bottom rack....perfect! And I finally figured out the right settings to wash them on...I am getting there.

The dryer is the newest dryer we have ever had, even though I bought it used. Because of some energy efficiency thing I can't just put it on regular dry and then come back in an hour. They only dry well if I put it on permanent press with no time....

And now? The freaking beeping stove! It is a gas stove which for cooking I love. It also bakes beautifully, I have baked a ton of cookies. But, if you take too long to light the stove it beeps. And for the life of me I can't turn it off! I used the oven the other day and I used the timer, even though I knew in my soul I should NOT have used the timer...and it beeped for 2 hours. And then just out of the blue the oven gets really hot (I have not turned it on) and beeps like crazy! I can not count how many times we are eating dinner and some one has to get up and try to turn it off. It has become a running joke in the house of all of us during dinner acting like we are beating the living heck out of it!!! And then the second we think we have defeated the beeping, when there is blessed silence in the house....you hear "BEEP!!!!". This morning at 2 am, I thought it was the alarm clock and...nope it was the stove. And then I stood there at the stove for a half hour just hitting all the buttons and trying not to cuss. I hate to call the landlord and complain about a beeping stove but it is driving us nuts!!!!

The other little quirks of the house are there are no lights in the dining room or the 3 upstairs bedrooms. But, there are light switches...so we finally got figured out where to plug the lights, but not the cable boxes (don't EVER unplug the cable box, it is a long phone call to get it back on!).

We have a lot of mirrors in this house, and I have noticed with all these additional mirrors that I have very vain children. Even Tobey Jude was checking himself out!

We love our location, we are close to everything we could ever need retail wise, but work and Church are a little ways away. I am loving being 5 minutes from Krispy Kreme and Sam's Club! What more could you ask for?

So, that is the house and even with the beeping stove, I feel so blessed to live here. We are happy and warm and loving every day we are here. I am going to get pictures up sometime within a week of the house and the new dog and fish tank...I haven't found the camera cord yet!

Lucy Sky....

I figured that I should tell you more about our newest family member, Miss Lucy Sky. I have never been a dog person, I like the convenience of cats. They don't bother you, you don't have top get out of bed to take them out and they don't like car rides. But, last year we watched a Hallmark movies called A Dog Named Christmas and I knew that I wanted a dog for the boys. The movie was about a young man who obviously was Autistic or something and he wanted a dog to foster for the holidays. Well, you probably know the ending he gets to keep the dog and everyone lives happily ever after.

Eddie and I talked about getting a dog for the kids for Easter last year and then the whole lead thing happened, so it was put on the back burner (everything was) and then Lucy Sky was literally dropped in our laps. My Dad is a landlord and one of his tenants has her and couldn't afford her vet care or food and so he let us know about her needing a new family. And she just happens to look like the dog in that Hallmark movie....funny how things work out!

Now as I said earlier I wanted a dog for the kids, but I did not want the work of one. But Lucy has not been any work at all and she is just great with the kids and a perfect fit for our family. Tobey runs around the house screaming "Dog!" and she plays tag with him. Melody loves playing fetch with her, Emily has dressed her up twice and Edwin just likes laying on her. I never seen the appeal to dogs before we had her....Now? I don't see us not having her. Right now Emily and Melody are using her as a pillow and watching Beauty and the Beast.

So enough about the dog, do you know what is on TV this Sunday? Big Love! Ohhh, I love that show...it is the final season which is sad, I will find a way to carry on somehow. If you have never seen this show it is about a polygamist family in Utah (are they anywhere else?) and the trials they face with their lifestyle. So, if you have HBO you need to watch it, best show EVER! I think I watch way too much TV....

So, that is all for today. I hope you have a great one! Talk to you later I am off to find the floor in Edwin's room again.

The update....

Life has been busy here in Holsteinville....so here is my attempt at an update.

We went from having no pets to having several in just a few days. My cat Tiger (the handicapped one) didn't do well with my Dad so he is back with us and doing great. My friend CJ gave me her fish tank complete with fish so now I can stop bugging Eddie about it every day. We have managed to not kill any fish so that is another bonus! And last but certainly not least we got a dog! Her given name is Icee Pop which seems like a stupid name so we have renamed her Lucy Sky (see the Beatles thing there?) and she is a perfectly trained 3 year old spayed female that has brought Tobey out of his shell even more. But to be honest she is more of my buddy and is sitting next to me even as I type.

We got snowed in! Insane people, being snowed in with 7 kids should be some punishment that they should put on the Taliban or something to force them to give up their fight!!! The first day I was like the perfect Mother, I made tons of homemade comfort food....bread, beef and noodles, apple crisp....we did the whole fort thing and then day 2 happened and I was about to kill my kids! First off I ran out of pop, and that is not good. Eddie had to spend an hour digging out just so he could get me some. The kids were restless and ready to kill each other and I also had no chocolate. It had all the makings of the end of the world here! We did have some good times though...the kids watched Fantasia and some old Mickey Mouse cartoons and we did enjoy playing with the new dog.And I had the joy of knowing that Monday would bring that magical yellow bus to take 5 kids away and then I seen it on Facebook, NO SCHOOL on Monday! What?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Please tell me that this is a joke, sadly it was not and I officially lost my sanity and I gave up the fight....

Tonight though I had the honor of hanging out with some Church ladies and ate the best Chinese food ever and I also took a shower without any interruptions so I think I can face another day....Anyway, back to the Church ladies....we all met up to celebrate a lady at our Church who has been through a really bad couple of years and she got gift certificates and everything. I don't know her as well as I would like but I plan on changing that. Besides hearing some of her story, my favorite part was just being with this bunch of ladies that I admire the heck out of and so blessed that they even acknowledge my existence. Tons of fun and I got a lunch date coming up with Kris now who has raised 2 teenage daughters and is still sane and the daughters have turned out well. So I plan on picking her brain on how to handle the whole teenage girl thing.

Things are better here with Lena and Eddie and I are back on the same side, I am now thought terrified that after I get Lena figures out....well, there will be 4 more! I had no idea that raising girls would be like this...I should start a support group, ha ha! I would have to buy a lot of cookies for that one.....

Friday is not going to be one of our fun Friday's this week, usually I look forward to them. But this Friday we have the lead people coming out here to check out the new house and make sure it is OK for Tobey Jude. We finally got him in today to get his lead checked so we have a base to see where he is with being in the new house. I am praying that we just get a 9 this time and the whole nightmare is over. I think they are bringing over like 10 people including Environmental....I don't know if I am supposed to bake something or what. Almost feels like I should be putting up a banner or something with that many people....

Well, that is all for tonight....I hope you have a good Tuesday, I will if we have school!

Pre-verbal Tobey, the teenager, Olivia and life.....

I read several blogs, one of them is called Mother To Shrek and it is about a mother of a non-verbal 20 something that is very similar to Tobey's diagnosis. I am not sure how I feel about the title of her blog....comparing her son to Shrek, but I have raised eyebrows at the school calling Tobey stud muffin. I will go on....

Anyway, she has started calling her son pre-verbal and not non-verbal, and in the simple change she has taken from a son that can't talk to a son that WILL talk and I just love that and officially stealing it.

Things are better here with Eddie and the hormonal teenager....Eddie finally sees my view and has realized that as usual I am right (will he ever learn?) and to be honest I see his view. As always Freud is right on target with the whole it is always the Mother issue. Eddie wants to be the kids friend because he wants a close relationship with the kids when they are adults. Me? I want them to be productive people what can handle what life gives them. There has got to be a way to do both.

I need to be more understanding of her feelings and that is something that I need to work on...This was a rough week with starting a new school and then having to actually walk to school. I don't think that this parenting thing gets any easier....

On to yet another happening. Today is Olivia Grace's birthday. Yep, the same day as Elvis'. She is now 8 years old which just seems insane. We had her party with the siblings yesterday and then Friday we are going to Chuck E. Cheese and meeting some friends there to celebrate the double birthday this month...Olivia and Tobey. So that will be fun, a nice break from the chaos of moving.

So, here is some facts about Olivia.....

• She was the first baby of the year at Knox hospital if that tells you how small of a hospital it was. They had to call in staff and open up the wing when I got there.
• She has a major obsession with baby dolls and makes me babysit them when she is at school.
• She loves to plan things and make lists....parties, crafts, movie nights.
• Her favorite foods are spinach, broccoli and brussel sprouts ( I know weird...).
• She loves school and has been referred to by her teacher as the smartest kid she has had in 20 years.
• She still hangs out with her kindergarten teacher.
• She is NOT a morning person!
• She loves Princesses.
• Her favorite cartoon is The Regular Show.

So Happy Birthday to my middle child who has brought me so many hugs and kisses and has taught me so many things. Mommy loves you bunches!

The teenage years....

I honestly swear that the teenager is going to put me in an early grave. The teenager otherwise known as Lena is officially driving me insane! I have all sorts of people telling me that this is normal and just a phase....I am leery of this, I mean holy cow there are times that I would like to just ship her off somewhere and send her care packages. Is that why parents are so happy when kids go to College? Maybe that was the original thought behind College. You know a place to ship your teenagers off before you kill them.

Now, I am first to admit that I am not a perfect Mother, I have all the patience in the world for Tobey but when it comes to my kids that are perfectly capable of doing things for themselves, well...I expect them to do it. I am not one to take kindly to the thousand excuses of why they can't do things when I know that they very well can.

But yesterday, Lena did the unimaginable. She turned Eddie against me in an argument!!! Now I may not be the perfect Mom but one thing I do have is a great marriage, not perfect....just great. Nothing has ever put us on opposite ends, not a fire, Autism, miscarriages....nothing. And then a 13 year old had us fighting on two different sides and I didn't like it. Eddie and I are a really good team and we have to work together on things or else things go wrong. It is a big job to raise 7 kids and then you add in the needs of the boys and the job is huge, and impossible to do if we don't agree.

Now, going deep here....my Mom died when I was 12 and I had to grow up really quick. My Dad was on the road and if I wasn't with my Grandma ( who needed a lot of help because of Polio) then I was home helping take care of my little brother. I was cooking and cleaning from a very young age. That being said I am not complaining, because growing up in that way I have a good work ethic and at least I never went wild (no time). But, I never was a teenager really. There was no dating, going to the mall with friends, no after school activities, no cruising. And now I have this teenager who wants to do all these things and I am drawing a blank on how to go about this. It is hard to raise your kids differently than you were and I have nothing to base all of this on.

Raising kids now is so different than when I was younger. I remember when I was a kid my Mom would send me outside to play in the morning and then just be told to come home at dark. I would hang out around the neighborhood, have lunch at a friends and then come home for dinner. Now? I sit in a fenced in back yard watching the kids play and worry if they are getting enough to drink and slathering on sunblock and carefully avoiding the evil sun hours (1-3).

When I was a kid a car trip consisted of jumping in the car ( after your parents found you somewhere in the neighborhood) and you were happy to just leave your area, hoping that you may talk your Mom into a candy bar. Now? You make sure the kids look cute (usually matching Emily and Melody), pack a diaper bag (packing enough for a week), prepare a snack bag brimming with healthy snacks and Capri Suns (the roaring waters one, they don't stain), picking out 3 movies for your 20 minute trip so they have a variety. And then when you do get to the car, you put them into car seats (we have 5) and try to start a movie before they scream their heads off from boredom, but the remote is the same size as your debit card and hiding underneath a thousand Capri Suns. It is just mind numbing.....having kids is not for the light hearted or for people who enjoy sleeping.

Well that is all the rants for the day.....I am now off to clean the kids rooms. Wait, shouldn't they be doing that,or is that part of the new way of parenting?

What to blog, what to blog.....

This is my third attempt this morning of blogging. I am not sure what to write about today...So I guess I will just write a little bit of everything.

Lena and Alison started at their new school today. They were a little nervous but I know that they will do fine. They did enjoy not having to go to school yesterday, but I worked the heck out of them!

Olivia turns 8 this week, which just doesn't seem right. She is growing too quickly. She wants a dollhouse for her birthday this year.

Eddie is on day 5 of giving up pop, he still has a headache. And may I add driving me a little nuts. I also feel guilty pouring myself a glass in front of him. But not guilty enough to give it up!

Edwin got himself ready today. He looked at himself in the mirror and told himself that he looks amazing! He did, but he also forgot to wear underwear again....

Tobey is giving us lots of language this week and I am loving every minute of it!

And Melody and Emily are so happy that the big kids are back in school. That is the only chance they have of getting control of the TV.....

All is going well at the new house. The kids are settled and Tobey has decided it is OK to sleep here, but I can tell you that it was a long 2 weeks. We have made a real attempt at eating dinner together every night and that has been nice.

So that is all today....I have tons to do and about 15 phone calls to make...talk to you later!

The year that was 2010....

I have wanted to do this blog for a couple of days but for some reason the words were just not there. And then I went to Church tonight, magically, I knew then and there exactly what I wanted to say.....

2010 had a lot of ups and a lot of downs....at the beginning of the year it always seems so promising and then life hits you with a dose of reality and you start to lose your oooompfh that you had going into the new year.

Some of the ups that we had was finding some of our new friends and trying to be more social as a family (very hard with Tobey). We found our groove this year....I am not sure how to put that in words. We found out who we are as a family and what we want to be as individual people. I have finally learned to accept myself as a wife, Mom and Christian and that I may have to do things s little differently than some people....that is OK.

I have been blessed beyond words with seeing Tobey come out of that Autistic world and to hear him say "I love you" was quite possibly the biggest moment of my life. I have seen Lena become a teenager and excel in school. I have seen Alison find a love for music. Edwin has developed a personality and extreme love for the holidays. Olivia finding her own little niche to fit into a large family. Emily has become one of the neatest kids I have ever met and Melody is a little spark of energy that is as tough as nails.

I have seen Eddie change into the best husband anyone could ever ask for and to see him grow in his faith and to become such a rock for our family. He has made me laugh through the tears and smile through pain.

I have started a blog (you probably knew that) and I have enjoyed every comment I have ever gotten whether on here or Facebook or in person. I have enjoyed every minute of it....except when I had to go political about gay rights. I won't go political again....I had a friend not talk to me for weeks!

Moving to our new house, which we LOVE by the way! I am so at home here and the kids are so happy....God did good finding this one!

But, I think the biggest high we had in 2010 was our life at Living Stones...the family that we have there has been our life line. I have been honored to have met the friends and family that I have there and can't believe that they love us so much despite of our failures and just loving us so faithfully. If you go to Living Stones I want to thank you from depth of my soul for your love....I love you!

I am not big on holding onto the past....you will never move forward if you stay angry or bitter and just not get over things. So this will be brief ( and I am freaking tired today). Our definite lows were lead poisoning, Tobey's health issues, the Insurance company, the past house where NOTHING worked, losing 2 cats, SUV impounded, 2 Golden Girls died and so on and so on.....

So here is to 2011 (lift your glasses now) I hope that you bring so many people joy and peace. I am looking forward to the adventures that another year can bring and lets make this one a great one! Oh, and if I may ask....no more lead!

Resolutions...

Well, here it is, and I have decided to share some of our family's New Year's resolutions...(this is the husband)...

1. Lena resolves to have less of her teenage attitude towards us...epic fail...


2. Alison resolves to be a good big sister towards her younger siblings...


3. Edwin resolves to shoot everyone


4. Olivia resolves to be a good student


5. Tobey resolves to talk...AND HE DOES!!!!


6. Emily resolves to be cute...constatnly...Epic success


7. Melody resolves to be a weirdo...victory!


8. Melissa resolves to take care of herself more...She deserves it!


9. And I resolve to blog more...*evil laugh*

But, as a family, we resolve to walk closer with Christ, eat together more, and love well. Happy New Year, my dear readers...I hope all of your resolutions are successful!