Wednesday, January 27, 2010

IEP meetings.....

Tomorrow we have the "pleasure" of attending and IEP meeting for Tobey Jude, at the ripe age of 5 his future rests on one decision, life skills or regular kindergarten. We have gone back and forth on this for weeks. We have talked to friends that have done this before, teachers in special ed, teachers not in special ed, parents, Doctors and anyone who would listen at church. All of this to come to the conclusion that there is no right answer for this. Very irritating!!!

With heavy hearts we have decided that Tobey will go into life skills. As of tomorrow he is on the track to never get a diploma....heartbreaking. We came to the decision knowing that he may never talk(he is trying though) and if he has a seizure, he will be in a safer situation with people that are trained. Even typing this is hard, seeing it in print. But I feel we have made the best decision for Tobey that we could and that is what's important. His dreams are not our dreams and that's ok.

Now on to something a little less heavy......

We are sooooo excited about February, for one tax check!!!!!!! I knew there was a reason to have kids, haha! And we are finally getting new furniture, which we have wanted for a year and a half since the fire! I can hardly wait until we have enough seating for the whole crew. We started a family movie/game night and that is not easy when you don't have enough seating, we have to do everything in shifts and it just gets confusing. Usually someone says they didn't get their turn when they did, you know how kids are.

We are also excited about celebrating Valentine's day, usually we just have flowers delivered to the girls at school, but it's on Sunday this year. So, we are going to take the kids bowling. So that will be fun, I hope! Lately, I want everything to be an experience for the kids. Last Christmas Eve after church we all wrote letters to Santa telling him what they were thankful for this year, not what they wanted. The kids then helped Eddie make cookies, cut up carrots and hang up stockings. Then when the kids were in their new pajamas that they got from Bernie the head elf, Eddie read the Christmas Story. Now I know this all sounds a little Norman Rockwell, I have blocked out the bad part where Tobey knocked down the tree or the kittens kept activating a car. Just hold on to the good memories, that's our motto.

Well that's all for today, dear readers, (I stole that from Stephen King)!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Autism day...

We have these days on occasion and Ed and I call them Autism days, or we simply look at each other and say the 'tism! It is just a day when you wake up positive, and then you go into their rooms to wake them up for school and Ed has this look on his face, and says he can't go to school because of a debilitating illness, today....hiccups!

He has also decided that the pants are fitting him differently than usual, and taking his many medications is simply out of the question. The milk is the wrong temperature and it is WAY to bright in the kitchen. Now this is still doable until the Tobey wakes up and even though non-verbal has this insane sixth sense that this is my chance to raise all heck! He is jumping without and fear off of every surface in the living room, couch, recliner, entertainment center....you get the idea. Now Edwin is screaming at Tobey and the bus is here for three kids, thank you God!

After then settling Tobey down and giving him his meds and dressed he is on the bus, and 3 blissful hours are mine until the Tobey is back home and ready for round 2. Now is my chance to spend time with Emily and Melody, clean house, laundry and make dinner, homemade chicken pot pie. Yes, I am feeling confident, proud and now the Tobey is back. He is still riled up and trying to kill a kitten by hugging it to o tightly, dumped all the salt and pulling on Melody's pigtails. I finally break down and medicate him.

Edwin is now home and very calm, until he sees that Olivia finished her homework first and is on the computer. So after counting with him and watching him turn himself into a F98 (his description) tornado, he announces he is hungry. I throw dinner in the oven, he takes one look at it, sees something green and announces he wants peanut butter and jelly. No longer in the mood to argue I give the boy the sandwich, and accept defeat.

Right now I have Lena watching them in the living room, Edwin is now dressed as Princess Pea from Super Why and Tobey is spinning the wheels on his truck. And they are quiet, now I breathe.

I am not sure why God gave us 2 sons with Autism, did he see something in us as parents that made him think we could handle it? I don't know, but even on days like this that cause my hair to go gray, I thank him that he did. I love those boys more than words can say.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Life is what happens while you are planning for it....

This weekend was crazy as usual, they always are. And then on Monday, Ed goes to work, 5 kids off to school and I am left with an entire house to clean and 2 toddlers.

We had a good weekend, but didn't get much done as we would like as usual. I sometimes think it is an impossible job. We had Tobey Jude's birthday party but due to autism you can't just have a normal party. He woke up to help his Dad assemble his present, no point to wrapping it, he won't open it. We then just played with him and watched him jump up and down in pure happiness. After dinner we had a cake that Eddie decorated with a car on a hill going down the road. Tobey managed to put macaroni in it. Very gross, but he ate it!

We made it to church this weekend, had a great time as usual. I LOVE our Church, it just gets us. It to me is the only place I feel no judgment, just love and joy. Everyone needs that in their life, I am blessed to have found it.

On Saturday we did our taxes, of course Tobey had a breakdown so it took twice as long as it should have. On the bright side we are getting twice as much back. So nice!

I am currently working on planning a Superbowl party for the kids and Eddie, found a great website called Kaboose and had great games for the kids, cupcakes and crafts, so I think the 7th will be a fun day. I am really trying to make everything this year to be a real experience for the kids, we have wasted enough tome planning for tomorrow, today is what matters. Not that I have stopped dreaming or anything, just time to enjoy the day.

Lena is excelling in her new grade, so proud of her, I don't feel like I give her enough credit sometimes, she is turning into an amazing compassionate young lady.

Alison is doing so well also, she is having a blast in choir, glad to see that she inherited that from me.

Edwin is adjusting to medication and having a rough time with it, he is such a good boy and full of love, just has a battle in his mind that he has to fight!

Olivia who is 7, wow! She is working so hard at school and wants to skip a grade like her sister, why not? She can do it, her brain is amazing!

Emily is Emily, cute, sweet, loving and way too smart! She can trick me already!

Melody is wonderful and funny and weird. That is all I need to say about her. The girl is just odd, I am her mother I am allowed to say it.

This is starting to sound like one of those Christmas letter, where people only tell you the great parts of their lives. They don't tell you that the car broke down, they got a speeding ticket, or they are thinking about disowning their families that seems to be left out.

I don't know if anybody besides my husband will read this blog about a boring housewife and her family, I think if I had my way I would like to have like this open format for all mom's to talk and support each other. Where it's ok to say " You would not believe the diaper change I did today" or " I am devastated beyond words that a Dr said my child has Autism and I feel like I am dying inside.". That is my hope for this blog, but right now I am off to watch the Smurfs and seize the day!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Am I doing this write?

Well, I am going to give this a try......

I am a mom of 7 awesome kids, wife to an awesome husband and fan of Tinkerbell. I also happen to be the mother to 2 sons who happen to have autism, which is what I am usually defined by. "Oh I feel so bad for her, they have 2 sons with autism". It is not easy, no one said that motherhood is. But we are really just a typical family o.k. typical LARGE family that has disabilities to deal with.

I always see people on Facebook (which I am on way too much) saying what they accomplish that day. It's funny because it seems like their busiest day that would be slow for me.... This is what I have done as of 1:00 today....

  • Got 5 kids up and dressed for school
  • Wrote 2 notes to teachers
  • 3 loads in the dishwasher
  • made 7 beds
  • vacuumed
  • 6 loads of laundry
  • Fed kids
  • programmed a talking machine
  • played Zombies with Emily and Melody
  • Called 2 doctors, 1 therapist, 1 pharmacy, 1 teacher and Dad
  • Ignored calls from Family Video (we lost a Phineas and Ferb DVD) need to call them and fess up
  • Caught Tobey as he propelled himself off the couch
  • Argued with a soon to be teenager about how to talk to a parent
  • burned chicken nuggets, had to make more

Now granted I have been up since 5:30 because I had to go to Wal-Mart, only to forget diapers, I will never learn to keep a list!

Well, this is kinda fun but I seem to have this like Doogie Howser music in my head(he is kinda hot!) And Tobey is trying to jump off the banister now sooooo later!